57 thoughts on “Bow Before My Intellect

  1. elizabeth

    haha you totally have brain-dead-new-baby syndrome.

    my sister had it for the first couple of months with her daughter. it’s of great entertainment value for those around you, at least.

  2. Hannah

    After I saw Radiohead live for the first time, I almost put Neosporin on my face instead of zit cream. I guess I can deduce from our similar experiences that having a baby is kind of like seeing Radiohead. In which case, I can’t wait!

  3. Karen (misc mum)

    The ole’ mix’n’match. Personally, I’ve had experience with Bonjella (teething gel) in one hand (taking it off one child) and a sandwich in the other (feeding it to another child). Then -somehow- putting the gel in my mouth. I hope you’re keeping well, otherwise!

  4. jana

    Don’t worry…the intellect comes back! My baby’s eight months old and I rarely wash my face with my glasses on anymore.

  5. Alison

    When my daughter was a newborn, I remember standing in front of the sink holding a toothbrush, looking at it at and wondering what I was supposed to be doing.

    And a friend of mine was so sleep-deprived, she forgot her name when filling out forms at the pediatrician’s office. She also walked into walls.

    Both of us have survived with minimal brain damage.

  6. quirky

    Yep, you do get the smarts back… just in time for the teen years when you’re reminded by your child how stupid you really are.

  7. Maureen

    The baby is actually sucking your brains while breastfeeding. It’s a known fact. That’s why he’s going to be the smartest kid in his kindergarten class.

  8. Lesley

    I found frozen waffles in the cupboard were the toaster goes – My son is 15 months old!

  9. Meegan

    In the days after I had my now 6-month old, I too tried to wash my face with glasses on. I also started freaking out on my husband for not replacing the cordless phone back on the charger. Now I needed to call my mom and I couldn’t find the phone and it was SO ANNOYING. And then his level of Annoyingness reached GREAT HEIGHTS when he pointed out that said phone was IN MY HAND and had been the entire time I was stalking around looking for it. Jerk.

  10. Dmom

    Mommy brain, baby brain, baby brain drain…it’s a fact and it doesn’t come all the way back for around 1-2 YEARS!!!
    The good news…the next time you loose something you can be pretty sure to find it in either A – a cuppord, B – under the couch or C – the freezer….trust me!
    Sounds like you’re having fun!!

  11. samantha

    hey… i say cleaning your face and glasses at the same time = multi-tasking. :)

    the pen thing… yeah, i don’t know on that one.

  12. slouching mom

    A friend once told me a story about something his mom did when he was 3 or 4 months old. She had bought groceries and was back at her car loading them into the trunk. She put the last bag in, took the shopping cart back to the corral, and drove home, only to realize that she had left the baby in the parking lot. She did, however, remember the groceries!

  13. (the other) Margaret

    Personally, I think it’s related directly to sleep deprivation, rather than having a baby persay. Case in point: a childless friend who was once particulaly sleep deprived brushed his teeth with Preperation H. True story.

  14. Jennifer/The Word Cellar

    My mom routinely threw perfectly good cutlery in the trash, all the way into my teen years. (She said it was an accident, but now I wonder if she just wanted new forks.)

    I have found myself desperately looking for the CTRL-Z keys in real life to undo something that just happened, such as dropping a pile of papers or spilling hot coffee. I don’t have kids, but apparently I spend too much time in MS Word.

  15. soulyluna

    uh-oh. so much to look forward. btw: i just bought your book. it hasn’t arrived yet, but thanks for the ideas in advance, and thanks for showing me the pregnancy countdown ticker! soon i will join the ranks of the even more brain dead…

  16. Cindy

    At least you have a good excuse. I once watched my husband pour the sugar out of a Splenda packet onto the table and then put the paper container into his coffee mug. We don’t have children. Could you image the horrors if we did?

  17. Heidi

    Oh may, I can totally relate. The other morning I sprayed hair spray under my arms and I haven’t used aerosol deodorant since 1989. And I don’t have kids so what’s my excuse?

  18. Andrea

    Crap, I walk into the shower with my glasses on more times than I like to admit. This morning, I attempted to put the compost bin in the refrigerator. And I am not pregnant yet or have a baby… I should be a hoot when I do have a baby.

  19. (the other) Margaret

    Spoke with a memebr of my team at work today who returned from materinity leae just a few days ago. Apparently, she tried to toast a piece of bread in the bottle warmer. Hmmmm.

    Also, to Jennifer/The Word Cellar, I feel your pain re Ctrl-Z: I once was tired coming home from work one day. I used my automatic car key chain lock to lock the car. Then I proceeded to walk up to the front door and stand there clicking the thing, expecting it to open the front door for me. I am too embarrassed to say how many times I clicked the darn thing before I realized what I was doing.

  20. erksh

    I peed my pants once. Normal for a new mom, right, I know. But actually? I was sitting on the toilet. I forgot to lower my underwear before I sat, in my haste to get ‘er done in between switching sides. Yeah.

  21. Ngaire Bartlam

    AHHHHHH. yes.
    my own personal whoops..
    hairgel.. rubbed into the face ( like my MOISTURIZER should have been..)
    Sigh.. and my babies are 11 and 8…years old.

    Ngaire In Brisbane Australia

  22. HDC

    I second that. I’ve gotten into the shower, on separate occasions mind you, with my socks on, my underwear on (bra and undies), and my glasses on. I have also wondered what became of my watch while I still had that wad of paper I meant to throw away earlier in the day.

    I have also begun to call the cats by the baby’s name and I have begun to use my baby’s pet names on my husband. Boy does that creep him out.

  23. oliversmom

    In my no-sleep, breastfeeding delirium (I call it the 4th trimester), I brushed my teeth with baby bum cream one morning! Do you know how hard it is to get zinc oxide out of your mouth? Blah!!!! Hope you are getting some rest…

  24. LyndaL

    Yep, it’s a big club alright. I once poured newly-pumped breast milk down the sink at 4am and put the washing up liquid in the fridge. I cried.

  25. Miranda

    When I was working early morning shifts on practically no sleep, one famous morning I tried to take off my eye makeup with astringent. Boy, having kids someday is just going to be a trip and a half.

  26. Ms. Karen

    I buttered my hand once. I’ve showered while fully dressed. Oh, and I’ve wandered all around the house, crying in frustration because I couldn’t find my glasses. I finally found them when I tried to wipe the tears from my eyes.

  27. Loob

    I’ve jumped in the shower with my glasses still on, several times! Suddenly everything gets very fogged-up. :D

  28. Lisa

    With my second child I got so exhausted I can relate. I had to stop nursing him as I was so anemic and had 3 children under the age of 4 (2 step-kids lived with me). After I put him on the bottle, nutramagin (sp? he was allergic to milk and had colic) I remember attempting to feed him the flashlight instead of his bottle! Poor baby kept crying and I was puzzled why he wasn’t happy until I tried to turn on the bottle. :) I always used a flashlight for nighttime feedings with all four kids so they knew when night was and didn’t think it was play time.

    My new grandson is 12 days old today and he’s doing good. I’m enjoying keeping up with little Hank too. Is Hank real alert yet? I’m just so amazed at how baby Tristan looks everywhere already.

  29. leslie

    Once, while about to take a vitamin, I poured water into my hand and put my mouth to the vitamin bottle as if to drink it.
    And, um, I have nothing to blame it on, like a baby to worry about or anything.
    Here’s to feeling better in comparison, aye?

  30. lizneust

    Let’s see: poured the OJ on the Cheerios, showered with the glasses on, left the house in my slippers (what? they’ve got hard soles), forgot to finish buckling kid 1 in car seat because kid 2 couldn’t find her pacifier (“Mama, I not safe!”) and then backed over the garbage can? I wish I could say that this had only happened once…. Of course, kid 1 did have the giggles all morning (“Mama, you silly!!) Yes, child, yes I am.
    Welcome to the club, Mama Maggie. Glad to have you join us.

  31. califmom

    oh, how i remember those times. wait, it’s been 10 years since i had my son and i’m still that way. wonder how long we can blame it on the kids?

  32. Tania

    On day 2 returning from the hospital with our fresh newborn, we almost burnt down the house sterilizing the breast pump. Hubby had fallen asleep with the baby and forgot he’d put the breast pump on the stove to boil and sterilize, and, next thing you know, there’s a charred breast pump on fire on our stove. It took months to get rid of that charred toxic plastic smell out of the house. We bought an electric sterilizer.

  33. amanda

    Root beer in hand I said: Do you want some roast beef?
    My husband answered: Sure.
    I handed him the root beer.
    We stood.
    He asked: And roast beef?
    Me: And?
    He: Chips.
    I returned with a root beer: Did you want ice with your roast beef?
    He: And chips?
    I handed him the root beer and left.
    I returned with chips: Honey, you want a root beer?
    He: Ice too?

    God love him for waiting to laugh until later, much, much later.

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