The Ghost of Motherhood Future

16th February 2007

In a desperate bid for more television hours to fill our depleted Tivo, I record a show called Yummy Mummy. They’re doing a makeover segment on a mom who collects holiday sweaters.

Mom: And this is a Christmas sweater! But I wear it throughout the winter because it’s a nice wintry scene.

Me: Stop it.

Mom: And this is my Halloween sweater.

Me: Stop it… Stop.

Mom: This is my Valentine’s Day sweater, with all the hearts.

Me: Stop it.

Bryan: She can’t hear you.


Mom: And this is another Christmas sweater.

Me: …

Mom: And I even have all the jewelry to match!

Me: Stop it.

Bryan: Maybe you should watch something else.

22 thoughts on “The Ghost of Motherhood Future

  1. kristin

    NO…No…No…don’t get freaked out Maggie! You will not turn onto “these” Moms. Remember, you are 3 days post partum, so watcing these shows are probably not a great idea! Ask your hubby rub your feet, get you some yummy food & hold the baby so you can shower. A better way to use the 30 precious minutes you MAY be able to carve out during this amazing yet foggy time as a new family. xoxo kh

  2. Sarah

    Don’t worry your brain is just mushy right now. The first few months after having my baby I could only handle watch Elimidate; it was as deep thinking as I could get at that time. Thankfully, months later I upgraded to Blind Date. You too will upgrade soon.

  3. Jenn

    Ha! My mom wears Christmas sweaters too, sometimes with a Christmas pin. My sister and I have made a pact that if one of us either wears a holiday-themed sweater, the other one will have an intervention.

  4. Jenn

    Ha! My mom wears Christmas sweaters too, sometimes with a Christmas pin. My sister and I have made a pact that if one of us either wears a holiday-themed sweater, the other one will have an intervention.

  5. el

    Hey…it could be worse. It could have been holiday sweatshirts. You know the kind with the collars sewn in. Those are really stylin’.

  6. Berecca

    Haa haa haa. I do that too! Talk to people on the television, and tell them off when they wear nerdy sweaters, and my husband responds in the same way. Don’t worry, I don’t think you are at risk of becoming a nerdy, sweater wearing Mamma. :)

  7. tortoiseshelly

    I think it’s perfectly sane to talk back to idiots on TV, but then again, I grew up with a mother who once sniffed and coldly informed the weatherman, “I don’t like you, Big Lips.”

    To each his own, I suppose…

  8. capacious

    I’m mailing you a series of sweaters, one for each holiday. Let’s see, we’ll start with the Presidents for Monday. St. Patty’s is after that. You’re gonna be just so CUTE. I’ll send matching ones for your husband and the baby.

    Come on, say it. Tell me.

    I wish I could really do this. In reality, I’m too lazy. Congratulations on that baby.

  9. Ms. Jen

    hey now… there is nothing wrong with a good holiday sweater, esp. Xmas ones, with the right accessories… Like with an ensemble of purple hair, a plaid mini-skirt, ripped stockings and doc martens. Esp. if you are just out of college and full of piss and vinegar…


  10. Heidi

    I had a baby about 7 months ago and became a Tivo fiend so I would have something to watch during the endless breastfeeding of the first few months. Some suggestions that don’t require much brain power- Flip this house (A&E), Felicity (WE), What Not to Wear (TLC – this show will make you feel good about yourself no matter what you are wearing!), any Bravo “marathons” of old episodes of Top Chef or Project Runway, Ellen, and Gilmore Girls (ABC Family). Some suggestions that will make you feel good about yourself as the people on them are extremely wacked out – Dr 90210 (E!), Super Sweet 16 (MTV), and The Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo). Don’t watch any shows about traveling to exotic places, elaborate craft/home improvement shows (ala Martha Stewart Living), or cooking shows as you will become depressed that you aren’t going to do any of those things for a while. Another thing that was a lifesaver for me in the middle of the night was the streaming video on and and well as video podcasts. You can watch all sorts of stuff on you laptop in the middle of the night with headphones. Finally try to get out of the house with the baby after he is 2-3 weeks old. Even if you’re not a “mall person”, the San Francisco Center is a pretty good place to take a baby since it is indoors and the Nordstrom has an amazing mother’s room for nursing.

  11. dutch from sweet juniper

    I was hanging out with my grandma a few months ago, and she looked at her friend in all seriousness and said, “what did we ever do before the invention of sweatshirts?”

    These are the same ladies who sit around discussing what they think heaven is going to be like.

  12. Jennifer

    Oh! that show stinks!
    The host of that show used to be a famous Canadian VJ on the Canadian version of MTV (MuchMUsic) but mommyhood melted her brain. Sad, but it happens to all of us..just not always that public.
    Congrats on the wee one.

  13. MJ

    Uh-oh. Does a wooly red, white & gray Nordic-themed sweater put me in Grandma territory? Take heart, Maggie — watchin’ it is not the same thing as wearin’ it!!

  14. Aunt Raina

    Tell the other Raina that she WON’T get pinched wearing her leprechan sweater. If she wants to get pinched she has to wear, like, all pink on
    St. Patty’s Day. Hint: Bend over just a little, with a faint smile on.

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