Who’s Complaining? Oh Wait, It’s Me.

28th December 2006

So say you’re about eight months pregnant and things have reached the back-aching, no sleeping, shallow breathing stage.

Now, suppose you come down with a sinus infection that halves your already meager amount of sleep and energy. Then say that the copious nose blowing creates a large cut in one nostril. This cut becomes infected and swells into a nostril cyst. (A visible, dead sexy, nostril cyst.) Huh. Is that a cold sore coming on? It is.

You suffer through through three weeks of swollen feet, stopped-up nose, dry mouth, painful nostril swelling, burgeoning cold sore, and then one morning, you wake up feeling better. You’ve had almost a full night’s sleep, you can imagine a day when you’ll breathe through your nose again, the cut is healing, the cold sore has subsided, you can almost hear Julie Andrews singing through the window.

That night, your long-gone morning sickness returns in full force.

Kiddo, you’d better be pretty effing cute.

70 thoughts on “Who’s Complaining? Oh Wait, It’s Me.

  1. emma

    Oh, oh, oh. This stage of pregnancy is hard under the very best of circumstances. You poor thing! Hang in there, lady. (I guess there’s no other option, huh? But I like to imagine that somehow was encouraging.)

  2. Tiffany

    Oh, hi, I am sory you are feeling awful. I am also really sory i am about to give you advice you did not ask for, but I cannot help it. YOu might wanna make sure the vomiting is not from pre-eclampsia?

    I’m sure the kiddo will be tons cute!!!

  3. jessica

    As another commenter said, I also actually slept better during the first 4 weeks of my baby’s life than I did the last 6 weeks of my own pregnancy. I’m not going to lie, the last month or so is the longest adn the hardest on you physically and emmotionally, but the second you see your precious baby, all of it will be forgotten.

  4. Jaimers

    It’s all worth it when the baby looks at you the first time and smiles at you…hopefully not because he/she has gas and tooted. ;)

  5. Alissa

    Oh no! Sending good thoughts your way! The baby will be here before you know it! Then it’s their nose you’ll be wiping. Happy New Year!

  6. JewJewBee

    At least the morning sickness went away for a while, right?!? Just imagine puking your brains out the entire 9 months… I second the notion of looking into the cause of the puking, though…

  7. curt

    Yup, at this point you’re in pregnancy hell. My wife was freakin miserable at this point, and just wanted the kid to come OUT.
    It amazes me that women want to do this thing more than once.

  8. Mike

    For the sinus infection and congestion, consider rinsing your sinuses out with saline solution. It’s gross, I know, but it works better than a lot of drugs.

  9. Amanda

    You’re completely glossing over how coughing while pregnant causes you to pee your pants! (As does barfing, no?)

    I would say something perky, but being pregnant just SUCKS.

  10. Kim

    Oh yes, this part stinks. I had miserable swelling of my feet (nothing but flip flops the last 3 months) as well as the rest of me, hands, face, etc. (from pre-eclampsia). All that fluid gave me carpal tunnel as well, so every time I got comfortable, my arm fell asleep. This stage totally sucks. Think I’m only having one! The good news was that my pregnancy was miserable, but my delivery went well. You are on the downhill slide!

  11. Amanda

    Poor Kiddo. This is another example of why I’m trying desperately to adopt, besides the fact that I have questionable chromosomes.

    Hope you feel better soon. Can you ground a child in utero?

  12. steph

    you. poor. thing. And you forgot to mention how you can’t take hardly anything for all your discomfort during pregnancy.

    Sorry this is so hard on you, but it will all get better very soon. Everybody has a least favorite stage… I loved pregnancy, but hated the first 6 months of parenthood, and now with my daughter at 5, I’m loving it. Maybe, you lucky thing you, you’ve gotten the worst of it behind you up front. :)

    Having a kid is the hardest most rewarding thing you will ever do. I am sure you will love it, even if it is not always fun and games.

  13. Gretchie

    I HATE PREGNANCY. HATE HATE HATE IT. I’ve only done this thing once. And you know what, getting up several times a night while recovering from a c-section was still much better than pregnancy. And once you make the decision to stop lactating, you start to feel like your old pre-preggers self again, and OH, it’s just *orgasmic*. However, do give yourself up to two years to really really feel and look like your old self. You’ll be back most of the way there by the end of year one, but the pg hormones take up to two years to clear all the way out. So yes, I assure you, better days are coming soon. In the meantime, enjoy the guilt free eating this holiday season, you may never get this kind of free pass again. I had my kid in January, and none of my Christmas indulgences stuck permanently that year. It was AWESOME!

  14. Matthew

    Well, judging by all of our cousin’s offspring, the chances are good this kid will be damn cute.

    But that doesn’t mean you can’t hold this against him until he’s well into his adult years.

    Hang in there Maggie! You’re on the home stretch!

  15. Michelle

    What is with all the pregnancy hate, people? Well, wait…my son turns thirteen tomorrow so maybe I don’t remember much. I liked being pregnant, I never had morning suckness but the motion sickness, oh my Holy Lord. Every single time I got into a car I made sure to have a bag handy.

    The last part of the pregnancy I do quite clearly remember hating heartuburn with every fiber of my being. And yes, about the eighth month is when you start to say, “Okay, I’m done! Any day now, child! The world is ready and waiting for you, don’t be shy, come out and meet everyone! Wait…what do you MEAN you won’t come out on my due date?”

    But the first time you hold your baby, and you look at him at say “I know you,” is SO worth it. Hang in there little mama, it’s going to be okay. :)

  16. j

    I’m sorry that you are so unhappy( so was I at this stage). However there is an old proverb the says “G-d could not be everywhere, so G-d created Mothers”.
    You are doing very important work right now, and work is not always fun nor easy.

    I wish you a speedy and painless delivery, as well as a beautiful, intelligent and healthy new addition to your family.

  17. Min


    I am 32 weeks pregnant. My feet are so swollen I am wearing a pair of crocs (in pink, no less) that are the only shoes I can wear. They are a size and a half bigger than mu non pregnant shoe sixe. My hands are tingling as I type this from the carpal tunnel and apparently I snore so loud that my husband does not like sleeping with me. Last night, my sweet husband asked me, are you sure you want to do this again if you are so uncomfortable? I think I still do, but this month has been rough!

  18. Mango Pickle

    I’m 19, and I’ve never been pregnant, and I’m not planning on getting pregnant soon. However, reading this post as well as the comments ensures that I’ll be VERY careful NOT to get pregnant in the near future. Wow, that last month of pregnancy really seems to suck.

  19. J. Bo

    No need to correct the typo, Michelle– “morning SUCKNESS” has a beautiful, inadvertent poetry about it.

  20. erin

    at about 18 weeks along my sinuses plugged up. from that point on i couldn’t breathe normal. some days it felt like cotton balls were shoved up my nose. my feet were so swollen, even my 2 sizes too large flip flops left marks. my maternity clothes were no longer fitting. i grew 10 centimeters from weeks 35-36. 10 hours labor then c-section. infection. i swore i’d never have another baby (or sex for that matter), but 18 months later & i’m ready for another.
    it’s a lot of pain & suffering, but in the end it’a all worth it. i wish you a happy, healty baby & a speedy recovery.

  21. koz

    I’m 18 weeks. Do you really need to torture me this way!?

    Good luck and I hope for an uneventful last month!

  22. Veryan

    I wound up 240lbs and toxic to boot – you WILL sleep better soon, your hips WILL stop aching and you WILL discover that having that little one on your chest for the first time equates to the most enormous feeling of love that you have ever experienced. The minute they put Georgia on my tummy I realized it was all worth it….even the 24/7 puking. Whoever made up the words ‘morning sickness’ left home in the morning to go to work and never saw her yarping all day!!
    The good news is I was 2 weeks early – maybe the same will be for you. Congratulations – welcome to the best club you will ever be a part of.

  23. Kara

    Oh Maggie, you brought back painful memories for me! I was 8 months pregnant last December, but instead of a sinus infection, I got a respiratory infection. Did you ever have croup as a kid? Remember that feeling where you thought you might die because you couldn’t get any air into your lungs because of the congestion? Well, that’s what I had last year. I just remember sitting on the edge of my bed sobbing, because I was two weeks away from my due date, and I was panicked that I would go into labor and be trying to have a baby while not even able to breathe. Icouldn’t get any air into my lungs while sitting calmly on my bed, so how was I going to push a baby out?

    Luckily, my little one didn’t come early, so I was over my sickness by the time all that happened.

    All of that is to say: I feel for you! Best of luck to you.


  24. dangit

    so, what you’re saying is, there’s no end in sight for me? i’m at seven-and-a-half months. instead of a cut, i had a teensy-tiny pimple below one nostril. after two weeks of nose-blowing and vomiting, my mom pointed it out from THIRTY FEET AWAY! and asked what it was. ugh.

    did i mention we (unwillingly) hosted christmas for 13 in our 658 square foot home? or that i have a three year old? and a two year old whose birthday went unnoticed yesterday? or that my husband works ridiculous hours, leaving me to fend for myself most days? can i curl up and cry now??? calgon, take me far, far the hell away.

  25. amanda

    Makes me look back fondly (because it is in the past) on the stomach bug that had me doubled over (as much as one can double over at 38 weeks pregnant) at work and violently wretching on the floor.Of the lobby. The carpeted and highly travelled lobby. God bless you, it’ll be a fond memory one day.

  26. Leiah

    Okay, I do not envy you. This wasn’t that long ago for me, my daughter is six-weeks old and is currently screaming her head off because Mommy has the balls to put her down and surf the Net. Let me just say that it does get better, but it gets a little worse first. I know, not what you wanted to hear, but have a Happy New Year all the same!

  27. Leah

    I believe we are having the same end-of-pregnancy experience. The sewlling extremities, the shortness of breath, not being able to close your legs b/c the baby has dropped so far but WONT COME OUT, the sinus infection, the morning sickness, the spreading hip pain, the constant peeing. I have no comfort to offer other than knowing that someone else is going through it right now. The next person who makes a smart ass comment about how big I look or asks if I’m about to pop is going to get my foot up his or her cheery holiday ass. Right, like I could get my foot up that high if I wanted to.
    Here’s wishing you a healthy baby, a smooth labor, and someone to make you a damn good drink when it’s over. Good luck!

  28. ThatMelanieGirl

    I call the third trimester the Dennis Leary Trimester: F-You! And you know what else? F-You! Nothing felt good. Contractions were a welcome relief.
    My kids sure are cute, though!

  29. Mrs. Kennedy

    Oh, sugar. I have nothing to add except to reiterate that this end-game stuff is hard and then it’s gone! And you’ll have a baby with an underwater 50’s themed nursery! Yay!

  30. Karenna

    I’m at this same place. And I want you to know that you have my permission to feel justified at any anger you may feel for the world at large because not even hot showers, laziness or chocolate can bring relief right now. And if you feel compelled to reach over to your husband in the middle of the night, slip your hand between his legs and deftly pinch the tendon on his inner thigh with the force of a Clydesdale’s teeth, well, that would be alright, too. Some things can only be communicated by example. *three weeks to go*

  31. Sue

    I’m 34 weeks pregnant with my second (and my first is only 16 months old – what was I thinking?? Oh right, I wasn’t) and I too have a sinus infection – since october.

    I know EXACTLY where you’re coming from! I do have one small bit of consolation – after the first oh, 5 days at home, the baby starts sleeping like 85% of the day, and eating the rest, so suddenly you’ll be thinking “hey, this isn’t so bad!” Well, until the kid starts being awake more, then it sucks, lol.

    Good luck, it’ll be great and kinda sucky all at the same time… but it’s completely worth it. :D

  32. Danika


    It would be wrong of me to tell you what you will feel. I can tell you that I could not imagine feeling more miserable than I did that last month of pregnancy. Yes, my son is cuter than I ever could have imagined. But NOT cute enough for me to EVER go through 285 days of vomiting and a dead spot on my stomach were he KICKED THE SAME SPOT ON THE INSIDE for five torturous months. Follow that with four months after his birth filled with more screaming and crying than I ever imagined a baby could be capable of (including waking up every 30 minutes ALL NIGHT EVERY NIGHT–NO EXAGGERATION!) Two words: Similac Alimentum. Don’t waste the months without sleep trying to deal with the colic. My son is the absolute best thing that ever happened to me. Thank pretend God that he finally sleeps in two five hour chunks at night. Practice mental fortitude however you can, and don’t be afraid to have a drink if the doc says it’s ok. Most mommys have.

    Love you!

  33. Andrea

    No one’s mentioned the PUPPPS rash yet and hopefully you’ll only have to look it up on the internet out of curiosity. I would not wish it on my worst enemy. After two weeks of it, I was very seriously ready to tell the doctor to “take the twins out at 36 weeks” (even knowing the risks that came with that). That’s how bad it can be… Very luckily it subsided and I was able to keep them in for two more weeks.

    You’re almost to the finish line! The little one WILL be worth it.

  34. christopher

    Mothers are amazing. We men (us men?) will never understand, nor earn, the same deep lifebond. All we can do is our damnedest to work hard to stay in second place. [father of 3]

  35. Tara

    I so know how you feel… I’ve just finished… and have a beautiful two week old daughter to show for it. hang in there it’s so worth it!

  36. Dan

    At least this isn’t happening during the holidays… oh, waitaminute. I’m sure your child will be very effing cute, as well as Wicked Effing Smart.

  37. Lotta

    Good lord, I can barely breathe just reading about it. You poor thing. I would be smeared head to toe in Vicks Vapor Rub. Or buy those Shower Soothers and just stay in the steamy shower all day.

  38. Groovymarlin

    Wow, everyone has a pregnancy horror story. Or fond memory. Really it’s all the same once it’s over. I agree with everyone who said you’ll actually sleep better once the baby is born. People always think I’m crazy for saying it, but it was true. Even getting up every few hours to feed her was better than not being able to find a comfortable sleep position at all, and feeling like my hips were going to permanently dislocate.

    I hope you feel better soon. Just hang in there. Eat some things that are really decadent and you’d never consume if you weren’t already the size of a manatee. If you don’t have such things in your house, send your husband to a bakery and Baskin Robbins to get them!

  39. Tiff

    When are you do, if you don’t mind me asking?
    I, too, am 8 months pregnant – only about 4 weeks left to go (give or take a couple)!
    Hang in there.

  40. Bookratt

    Get a wedge pillow, the retro kind with the arms on it or the “as seen on tv” kind that is a triangle wedge of foam, wit a nice soft cover on it, with a smaller triangle attached to it, like a hinge, that you can flip into different shapes, if you don’t already have one. Not the ones sold at Sears with the zippered corduroy cover, that looks like a bolster pillow, that’ll leave marks.

    Search for pillows called Jobri Spine Reliever, Cequal, Back Max, etc.

    Sleep sitting up, reclining back onto this pillow or, better yet, move to the leather recliner in the living room nearest the bathroom, put the tempur pedic foam pillow in your lumbar area, turn on the digital cable and stay up all nite. You’ll be so exhausted that in the wee hours of the early morning, you’ll fall asleep by default.

    Oh, wait. That’s what I did.

    For morning sickness, use (unblessed) communion wafers. You can get them online, pre-blessed, in large quantities. I am not a believer (I think) but it worked for me. I think it was the non-taste of the wafer and the act of just letting it dissolve on my tongue. You’re concentrating so hard on not throwing up and inadvertently defiling what to some is so sacred, that you just don’t have time to yak.

    You can do this, Maggie.

    You’re Mighty Girl. You can do anything.

  41. Nina

    Wow. Bloated, cyst on nose, wants to scream at anyone – you could not be having any more fun than you are right now. Just keep repeating that in your mind. I am the happiest I will ever be…
    Perhaps when you push with those contractions, the cyst on your nose will burst open, too. That’ll be fun!

  42. el

    Somehow labor and delivery manage to wipe all unpleasantness out of your short term memory.
    I was plaqued with the most awful heartburn for the last month of my pregnancy and only moments after delivery I was all “heartburn? what heartburn?”

  43. Allison

    They’ve said it all, but I will add this…the day I had my c-section (breech baby), I looked at hubby and said, “No more!” Then two days later I said I could have 10 more. You will fall in love and the sinus boil will be long forgotten. I promise. Oh, and then your milk will come in. You will wrestle with your boobs like never before. Consider it a science experiment and have fun!!

    A week later I couldn’t stop staring at my ankles, they had de-swelled so much. It was fantastic.

  44. Heather B.

    I would say that it will get better, but given that my experience with pregnancy is umm..lacking…I will say you obviously have many people hoping the best for you and supporting you and I have a feeling that this kid will be the cutest freaking red head ever.

  45. leila

    being several months behind you, I can only say.. hang in there and complain as much as you want and do whatever you need to in order to get through this. and then, soon enough, you will! best wishes for this last step and all the joyful moments that will follow it.

  46. Vikki

    I wanted to answer a question from a commenter on a previous post but couldn’t seem to comment anymore. Someone asked if I helped the homeless woman. Well, I gave her the cash I had which was only about two dollars. So, I don’t know that I really helped her. I’ve been out of town but wanted to answer lest people think I ran away in shame :)

  47. Strizz

    I in no way want to belittle (maybe not the best word, but I felt uindermine was alos not right) the feelings you are having right now (which means I am so about to) but just imagine ifthis was baby #2. Add to all of the above a small person, covered in snot and dried up candy, who refuses to do anything but what you say. The joys of parenthood It just gets worse sister. Good nwes isthey usually arepretty damn cute. Except my son. He was born pig nosed, cross eyed, and way toskinny for an eight punder. I called my mother from the hospital and cried about my ugly child. Within aweek or sohis eyes went straight his cheekes filled out and he is to cute. The point? Pregnancy sucks, kids suck worse, but when they bring home these odd looking art peices from school or give you kisses without making you ask… every moment is worth it. Even the moment where you have just gotten out of the shower and the baby barfs on your boobs.

  48. Lisa

    My daughter is due Feb 18th and so far she hasn’t reached that stage. I had four kids and I remember that last month well. I hope your labor is a breeze as it sounds like you’ve paid your debt of pain and discomfort for this pregnancy.

    I promise that eventually they do come out and you will think the baby is adorable as all get-out. And the memories of the misery all fades until you go through it again. :)

  49. The Aitch

    I’m having my second on Feb 1st. I am there, well beyond there and have reached here. But I also have a toddler to take care of. One who is in the midst of a whirlwind potty training experience.

    You think it’s bad now? Wait till you have number two.

  50. Emily

    Hang in there! It’s just god/mother nature’s way of preparing you for when the baby actually comes. Sleep? Not so much. Worth it – yes! :)

  51. Sarah

    The only way I could endure 5 months of constant hiccuping from my first pregnancy was my husband promising me we’d give her a good spanking when she was born. Somehow it made me feel better…

  52. strauss

    I was waiting for you to say…just as the cold sore cleared up and in the middle of your first decent sleep in ages- your water broke”.
    I wish you a great birth, whenever the event takes place.

  53. Michelle D

    At this stage in the game, I felt as though I’d eaten three Thanksgiving dinners and been in a car accident. Suuuuucked.

  54. starlet

    hilarious. dead sexy. The worst is when they come out and everyone goes: congratulations DAD, she looks JUST LIKE YOU.

    Thats not cool.

  55. Marie

    ahh…I remember being pregnant. I did it five times and survived quite well. My oldest is now 32 and my baby 18, plus I’ve got two new grandsons. This too shall pass…just keep telling yourself that. Oh, and another phrase that comes to mind…someday you’ll laugh at this. And finally, cherish these moments as they’re gone all too soon. I’m living proof that all these sayings are true, things do pass, you are one day able to laugh at the past and time passes all too quickly. Now that I’ve found your journal, I’ll be back.

  56. Mighty Hunter

    I hope it’s all over for you now. I recall being ordered to bribe the anaesthetist for an epidural (“find out his salary and double it!”). He thought about it for a minute and then decided to do the right thing.
    I bet you look beautiful now.

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