5th March 2001

The best press release/meeting request I’ve ever received. (I’ve anonymized the name and company so I don’t humiliate anyone publicly):



John Smith

President & Managing Director


3:18 p.m.

The Bumper Dumper is not just a luxury, it’s a necessity. Mighty Girl–bringing you the technology that shapes your world.

2:08 p.m.

Stuart, author of the ever-chewable Sylloge, creator of the 5K Contest, and witness to a murder, sent me a description of his favorite party in reference to my marker-fight post below.

“It was held when I was in grad school. Two friends invited about 30 people,
arranged so that any one guest knew only three or four other people there.
We were told to wear all black clothing. At the door, instructions were
posted: we should take a drink in a plastic cup from the small bar
provided; the apartment had a foyer which served as an “airlock”: we were
to enter the foyer and close the external door before opening the internal
one. It was a “dark party”.

Inside, there was absolutely no light. They had rented thick industrial
carpeting which was affixed to the walls to prevent any light from getting
in from outside. The stereo, containing two 120 minute mixed tapes on
autoreverse was similarly covered. A thin rope was provided as a guide for
entry into the bathroom and it really was perfectly black. It made no
difference whether you had your eyes open or closed.

Because you never knew if there were people around, except for when you
were constantly bumping into them (everyone was on the floor and had to
crawl) and because most of the people were strangers, there were some
interesting conversations. My hearing became very acute. It was bizarre to
speak to someone when I had absolutely no idea what they looked like. Faces
were felt.

After 5 hours or so, the lights were flipped on, which hurt. But wow, it
was strange. And very interesting. Best party ever.”

10:39 a.m.