Mighty Life List
Aug 28 2013

WASP-Off! Theme Party

Labor Day weekend approaches, and with it your last chance to wear Summer whites away from the tennis court. If you’re listening to This American Life as you read this; if you know what your grandfather likes to drink; if you often contemplate the probability that other people think you’ve done something wrong? Consider hosting a WASP-Off!

Last year, I put together a battle royale to prove who among my friends was WASPiest — regardless of religious, political, or regional affiliations.

I asked friends to RSVP with the ways in which they’ve disappointed their parents, and prepped a WASP-off costume/inspiration board on Pinterest.

Attire was lawn-party restrained — argyle, pearls, cardigans, Top Siders without socks, an expression of mild discontent.

We had optional competitions for:

Passive aggressive thank you note reading and/or uncomfortable family Christmas newsletter reading. (Acceptable to prepare entries in advance.)
Keeping a tennis ball aloft with a racket.
Posture
Craft table
Sartorial Prowess
Best nametag nickname
Turning compliments into slights

I made the trophies by epoxying egg cups onto sugar bowls and marking them with a Sharpie.

I also bought generic trophies at thrift stores and spray painted them white as decoration.

We technically had a No Weapon Formed Against You Shall Prosper Trophy for the overall winner, and a mock gift certificate for therapy, but I’d had too many Pimm’s Cups, and forgot about them.

The menu:
-Grocery store cake
-Fruit Salad
-Pasta Salad
-Green Salad
-Sausages
-Corn on the cob
-Vegetarian Sausages
-Veggie platter with hummus
-Pimm’s Cups

At the end of the weekend, we formed a secret society, and had a quick bloodletting.

It was just lovely.

More photos on Facebook.

If you liked this post, you might also like:
Host a Jazz-Era Gatsby Party
American Theme Party in Paris
Camp Mighty Space Camp Party 2012
Menstruation Celebration (I had nothing to do with this, just find it hilarious.)

11 Responses to “WASP-Off! Theme Party”

  • Malface Says:

    This is rad Maggie. The decor and trophies were spot on and now I want to try passive aggressive thank you card reading.

  • Lori Says:

    Maggie. You are a genius! I laughed out loud a bunch of times at this.

  • Becky Says:

    Love it! I sent this link to my sister, who just starting working for a very old, very WASPy private school in Cambridge, MA. She attended an event last night whereupon they gave out “thank you plants” to employees for 5 years of service. She reports there bow ties, loafers and ancient outfits, and that she almost wasn’t invited because she “did something wrong.” Our own family was in grave danger of succumbing to our WASP heritage, but the trashy California side won out! Gentle applause.

  • Katherine Stone Says:

    I’m trying to decide right now whether it’s a good or bad thing that a Pimm’s Cup is my favorite drink ..

  • Kathy Says:

    This American Life is WASPy? Wouldn’t have called that.

  • holly c Says:

    I’m shocked by how WASPy I am, being a lapsed Catholic and all. Hilarious. I so want to throw a WASP-off now too!

  • misstraceynolan Says:

    This. Is. Genius. The “grocery store cake” part of the menu is what finally drove me to snort at the coffee shop.

  • Mary Says:

    The knotty pine photo booth backdrop was not lost on me! You had me at knotty-pine!

  • Aileen Says:

    My boyfriend and I are both descendents of aspirational Jews, and it’s upsetting to see how well this fits our families.

  • Aileen Says:

    And of course, by “upsetting” I mean “We must throw one of these parties RIGHT AWAY, if only because my grandmother-trained compliment to slight skills never get used.”

  • tY Says:

    Pardon me, what is WASP??