Labor Day weekend approaches, and with it your last chance to wear Summer whites away from the tennis court. If you’re listening to This American Life as you read this; if you know what your grandfather likes to drink; if you often contemplate the probability that other people think you’ve done something wrong? Consider hosting a WASP-Off!
Last year, I put together a battle royale to prove who among my friends was WASPiest — regardless of religious, political, or regional affiliations.
I asked friends to RSVP with the ways in which they’ve disappointed their parents, and prepped a WASP-off costume/inspiration board on Pinterest.
Attire was lawn-party restrained — argyle, pearls, cardigans, Top Siders without socks, an expression of mild discontent.
We had optional competitions for:
Passive aggressive thank you note reading and/or uncomfortable family Christmas newsletter reading. (Acceptable to prepare entries in advance.)
Keeping a tennis ball aloft with a racket.
Best nametag nickname
Turning compliments into slights
I made the trophies by epoxying egg cups onto sugar bowls and marking them with a Sharpie.
I also bought generic trophies at thrift stores and spray painted them white as decoration.
We technically had a No Weapon Formed Against You Shall Prosper Trophy for the overall winner, and a mock gift certificate for therapy, but I’d had too many Pimm’s Cups, and forgot about them.
-Grocery store cake
-Corn on the cob
-Veggie platter with hummus
At the end of the weekend, we formed a secret society, and had a quick bloodletting.
It was just lovely.
More photos on Facebook.
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