Who’s Complaining? Oh Wait, It’s Me.

My Life

So say you’re about eight months pregnant and things have reached the back-aching, no sleeping, shallow breathing stage.

Now, suppose you come down with a sinus infection that halves your already meager amount of sleep and energy. Then say that the copious nose blowing creates a large cut in one nostril. This cut becomes infected and swells into a nostril cyst. (A visible, dead sexy, nostril cyst.) Huh. Is that a cold sore coming on? It is.

You suffer through through three weeks of swollen feet, stopped-up nose, dry mouth, painful nostril swelling, burgeoning cold sore, and then one morning, you wake up feeling better. You’ve had almost a full night’s sleep, you can imagine a day when you’ll breathe through your nose again, the cut is healing, the cold sore has subsided, you can almost hear Julie Andrews singing through the window.

That night, your long-gone morning sickness returns in full force.

Kiddo, you’d better be pretty effing cute.

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70 thoughts on “Who’s Complaining? Oh Wait, It’s Me.”

  1. Wow. Bloated, cyst on nose, wants to scream at anyone – you could not be having any more fun than you are right now. Just keep repeating that in your mind. I am the happiest I will ever be…
    haha
    Perhaps when you push with those contractions, the cyst on your nose will burst open, too. That’ll be fun!

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  3. Somehow labor and delivery manage to wipe all unpleasantness out of your short term memory.
    I was plaqued with the most awful heartburn for the last month of my pregnancy and only moments after delivery I was all “heartburn? what heartburn?”

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  4. They’ve said it all, but I will add this…the day I had my c-section (breech baby), I looked at hubby and said, “No more!” Then two days later I said I could have 10 more. You will fall in love and the sinus boil will be long forgotten. I promise. Oh, and then your milk will come in. You will wrestle with your boobs like never before. Consider it a science experiment and have fun!!

    A week later I couldn’t stop staring at my ankles, they had de-swelled so much. It was fantastic.

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  5. I would say that it will get better, but given that my experience with pregnancy is umm..lacking…I will say you obviously have many people hoping the best for you and supporting you and I have a feeling that this kid will be the cutest freaking red head ever.

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  6. being several months behind you, I can only say.. hang in there and complain as much as you want and do whatever you need to in order to get through this. and then, soon enough, you will! best wishes for this last step and all the joyful moments that will follow it.

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  7. I wanted to answer a question from a commenter on a previous post but couldn’t seem to comment anymore. Someone asked if I helped the homeless woman. Well, I gave her the cash I had which was only about two dollars. So, I don’t know that I really helped her. I’ve been out of town but wanted to answer lest people think I ran away in shame 🙂

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  8. I in no way want to belittle (maybe not the best word, but I felt uindermine was alos not right) the feelings you are having right now (which means I am so about to) but just imagine ifthis was baby #2. Add to all of the above a small person, covered in snot and dried up candy, who refuses to do anything but what you say. The joys of parenthood It just gets worse sister. Good nwes isthey usually arepretty damn cute. Except my son. He was born pig nosed, cross eyed, and way toskinny for an eight punder. I called my mother from the hospital and cried about my ugly child. Within aweek or sohis eyes went straight his cheekes filled out and he is to cute. The point? Pregnancy sucks, kids suck worse, but when they bring home these odd looking art peices from school or give you kisses without making you ask… every moment is worth it. Even the moment where you have just gotten out of the shower and the baby barfs on your boobs.

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  10. My daughter is due Feb 18th and so far she hasn’t reached that stage. I had four kids and I remember that last month well. I hope your labor is a breeze as it sounds like you’ve paid your debt of pain and discomfort for this pregnancy.

    I promise that eventually they do come out and you will think the baby is adorable as all get-out. And the memories of the misery all fades until you go through it again. 🙂

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  11. I’m having my second on Feb 1st. I am there, well beyond there and have reached here. But I also have a toddler to take care of. One who is in the midst of a whirlwind potty training experience.

    You think it’s bad now? Wait till you have number two.

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  13. Hang in there! It’s just god/mother nature’s way of preparing you for when the baby actually comes. Sleep? Not so much. Worth it – yes! 🙂

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  14. The only way I could endure 5 months of constant hiccuping from my first pregnancy was my husband promising me we’d give her a good spanking when she was born. Somehow it made me feel better…

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  15. I was waiting for you to say…just as the cold sore cleared up and in the middle of your first decent sleep in ages- your water broke”.
    I wish you a great birth, whenever the event takes place.

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  16. At this stage in the game, I felt as though I’d eaten three Thanksgiving dinners and been in a car accident. Suuuuucked.

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  17. hilarious. dead sexy. The worst is when they come out and everyone goes: congratulations DAD, she looks JUST LIKE YOU.

    Thats not cool.

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  18. ahh…I remember being pregnant. I did it five times and survived quite well. My oldest is now 32 and my baby 18, plus I’ve got two new grandsons. This too shall pass…just keep telling yourself that. Oh, and another phrase that comes to mind…someday you’ll laugh at this. And finally, cherish these moments as they’re gone all too soon. I’m living proof that all these sayings are true, things do pass, you are one day able to laugh at the past and time passes all too quickly. Now that I’ve found your journal, I’ll be back.

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  20. I hope it’s all over for you now. I recall being ordered to bribe the anaesthetist for an epidural (“find out his salary and double it!”). He thought about it for a minute and then decided to do the right thing.
    I bet you look beautiful now.

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