Mighty Life List
Apr 28 2006

Where in the World

For the last five years or so the airports have had a new program to detain me at every possible opportunity. I’ve experienced seemingly every new development in airport security as it comes up. I was among the first to have my cuticle scissors confiscated, remove my shoes to have them carefully searched for hidden wiring, drink from my flask to prove it didn’t contain lighter fluid, have my computer dusted for chemicals, have my bra hand-searched for hidden explosives, remove my underwear for chemical testing, do the required gyrations to shake loose any wiring attached to my person. All that stuff that’s become a standard part of travel in the U.S.

Anyway, I’m happy to do it. I’d rather be delayed for fifteen minutes than face the gradual erosion of our belief in the basic goodness of humankind. Or, you know, death.

A few days ago, we flew through Dallas, where I learned of a new security development. It’s a machine that looks like an elevator compartment with glass doors in the front and back. When you’re one of the select few who gets to step inside, it blasts you with a series of air “puffs.” They’re supposed to blow chemicals off of you to see if you’ve been mucking around with nitroglycerin lately.

These “puffs,” are surprisingly forceful. When you’re not expecting them, it’s a little like being blasted with twelve mini fire hoses. Except, you know, creepier and more invasive.

Anyway, I passed. We’ve been in Argentina for a week or so. I’m on steak number 73.

No Responses to “Where in the World”

  • Mama Lu Says:

    Glad to have you back! I was having withdrawals.

  • Vikki Says:

    My worst experience with airport security was when we traveled with our 18 month old son. They separated him from us (by several) feet so that they could run the scanner over his little body. Needless to say, he wasn’t a big fan. Then, he had to be separated from Tigger because Tigger had to go through the xray machine. We are going to Portugal in August with both kids (4 and 14 months) – I hope they don’t get shot with the air puffs…

  • John Says:

    Do you have to be nude while getting blowed? Is that a weird question?

  • Jessie Says:

    My sister just left for Argentina this morning (for 3 weeks study abroad) and she’s not a steak person so is kind of not looking forward to the amount of steak she’s likely to be served. I told her I’d definitely take her place on the trip if it was such a problem. Unfortunately she said no. Hope you’re having fun down there!

  • Megan Says:

    I have succumbed to my sizeable travel envy (about Argentina, not about getting “blown” on the way there) and must refrain from reading your site until I can regain my composure.

    Thank you.

  • blackbird Says:

    It doesn’t appear to me that you resemble a threat…
    I wonder if there is a woman fitting your description on the most wanted list.
    It COULD be.

  • Katie Says:

    I’m glad to hear that you haven’t been messing with the nitro…but I wonder…do they warn you about the power or the air puffs? What if you’re particularly concerned about your hair? What if you’re wearing a skirt and the air puffs blow it right up? Can you then sue for embarrassment and mental anguish? Ahh, the things that plague my mind on a Friday afternoon…

  • amee. c. r. Says:

    yea i traveled to asia during the whole SARS thing and had to walk under the thingy things.

    a police officer got shot yesterday in our cleveland airport. it was before the checkpoint so y’know..

  • Bani Says:

    Steak no. 73, eh? Sounds delicious, and I wish I were there (but my bowels do not). ;-)

  • dd Says:

    ugh – I get the same thing whenever I fly. There will be a line 50 people long and the security folks will make a beeline for me to pull me aside.

    I’m just as WASP-y looking as they come, so my travel companions always get a good laugh (and all the overhead space while I’m having my carryon searched).

    I haven’t yet been “blown” however – thanks for the warning :)

  • thor Says:

    No you don’t have to be nude to be blown. It costs a little extra, but it’s worth it.

    Also, yes, it totally messes up your hair.

  • GN Says:

    Yes, the implementation of increased security measures may be bothersome, yet offer some greater peace of mind, perhaps.

    Speaking of “puffs,” I can already imagine a spin-off of the Marilyn Monroe blown-up skirt deal. It’s already staged for it…glass doors front and back, passers-by and airport personnel…just wait and see.

  • Karen Says:

    In the Augusta Maine airport you are made to take off your shoes and coat and you are patted down in a platonic way- When we went through Boston and Atlanta in March 2005 the security was looking the other way half the time as luggage went through the detector, nor were our shoes or coats checked????
    Guess those air puffs could almost be fun…!

  • Leah Says:

    Mmmm I remember the tasty Argentinian steaks. And other interesting parts of the cow too!

    As for airport security, I must tell my frightening but awesome story. I flew in October of 2001 (as in, the month after 9/11) and I snuck a knife onto the plane. Not because I’m a terrorist and not because I wanted to cut things, or even because I wanted to see if I could. I just didn’t want to give them my pocketknife. I loved that pocketknife! I had forgotten to take it out of my bag before we got there.

    So, I placed it amidst my homework right inside the metal rings of my 3-ring binder. I figured the metal rings would shield the knife-shaped metal inside. It got through without any problems.

    How that make you feel about your personal safety?

  • Z Says:

    Crazy stalkery post ahead. I am a reader of your blog and had a dream last night that my husband and I met you and your husband on vacation on some sort of bus tour and the bus jumped the road and drove into a lake, but we were all okay. My aunt (who I think you look so much like) is in BA this week fixing up a couple condos. If you see your doppleganger +10 yrs enjoing a a slab of prime, say hi.

  • CrazyForHer Says:

    Next time you have to enter “The Elevator”, toss in ten $1 bills and as the air goes off start stuffing the dollars in your pants, bra etc. Everyone around you will think it is the newest airport promotion.

  • christina Says:

    I’ve been puffed too! And it took me by surprise (my puffer didn’t have doors – it was part of the metal detector) so I let out the girliest squeal and started giggling – the guard laughed at my display. Apparently it was also the village idiot detector.

  • Patricia Says:

    This can’t be happening…somehow I have been also increasingly held back at airport screening…and my guy friends tell me it is nothing to do with national security :) Would you believe that?

  • estella Says:

    My favorite part of airport security is when they take volunteers for the extensive search. It gives the guy with a strapped chestful of C4 explosives a chance to lay low.

  • Leslie Says:

    Oh, steaks in Argentina! Also tapas in the afternoon and the wines! I remember eating at a place with a stuffed cow in the entryway. I ordered the “mixed grill” because I thought I’d get a little of everything. It turned out to be kidney, udder, intestine. All cooked at the table and lovingly served to me by the waiter.

  • Ana Says:

    OMG I can’t believe you are here in Buenos Aires. It’s getting cold outside but the Autumn here is awesome, please be careful it’s crazy outside during weekdays.

    If you need info about cool places to visit please email me.

  • Mark Kenny Says:

    Ooooh, you’re in Buenos Aires, I loved Buenos Aires, and the steaks in Argentina are so good! I noticed the mate de coca photos on your flickr stream: we had the exact same reaction when we tried it, ha ha.

  • David Says:

    >Anyway, I’m happy to do it. I’d rather be delayed for fifteen minutes >than face the gradual erosion of our belief in the basic goodness of >humankind. Or, you know, death.

    Given what we put up with when we go to the airport I’d say that belief isn’t being gradually eroded, I reckon its completely gone and has been for awhile. If anyone believed in the basic goodness of humankind it wouldn’t need to be verified by nitroglycerin puffs.

  • karen Says:

    I fly twice a week for work, and I live in DC so I fly out of National. Since I fly so much I have status on my airline, and sometimes get to stand in the special, shorter security line.

    But sometimes – not always! – the special line is shunted directly into the airpuffer and it’s waayyyy slower than the regular line. Then I don’t feel special anymore.

  • Mighty Girl - » Blog Archive » BEAUTY IS MY WEAPON Says:

    […] In the best of circumstances, airport security teams see me through a different lens. To them, I appear to have sharp objects taped in concealed places, and a mouth ringed with the gunpowder I’ve been eating for breakfast. Accordingly, they searched my bag and confiscated everything in it. Well, almost everything. […]

  • casinogames Says:

    casinogames casinogames

  • Penis Enlargement Says:

    Penis enlargement pills, penis enlargement exercises, natural penis enlargement techniques, penis enlargement information, jelq, health, products, all of stuff to make your life better. Visit: http://www.sinepenis.com

  • Penis Enlargement Says:

    Tested over 200 different penis enlargement products and penis enlargement programs and decided to list the top 3 programs because they had the best rating when it cames to customer satisfaction and results. Visit http://www.enlargements-penis.com

  • Penis Enlargement Pills Says:

    Top 3 penis enlargement pills

  • Penis Enlargement Says:

    Penis enlargement reviews, penis enlargement health, top 3 penis enlargement pills, penis enlargement power and much more. Visit: http://www.enlargements-penis.com

  • Penis Enlargement Pills Says:

    Top 3 penis enlargement pills.

  • nucxkp tmsap Says:

    poqrfey cfgwnrxpe ofidvya xhsojb scjbx lkxjcinut ojexniah

  • ceygnbtom hrcwmvfij Says:

    pjqewxk mqpikhdt xeqczjmt cbyzqgk vgykobn pzmoavgk ikzd http://www.ifvtp.jvwh.com

  • Penis Enlargement Pills Says:

    Here you will find articles penis about serious penis enlargement products and much more like penis conditions, erection, sexual health, sexuality, jelqing, penis enlargement pills. Visit: http://www.sinepenis.com

  • Weight Loss Pills Says:

    Weight Loss Reviews. Hoodia effortlessly reduce their caloric intake by 7000 calories each week. Visit: http://www.healthshop.tv

  • kzydvncl fisjm Says:

    dkuncz nyfrds hglc pzotnxq igtecylmd kugq kiayuxpmz

  • pqfnd wnvbijky Says:

    zbjwpgvd wczpmft pgzl dfrjsn eiqmvot rwio jylop http://www.dhlgrb.qhgxjcds.com

  • umiaeqyp zswvibym Says:

    rwxmctay rlhwai czoi mogcnh diet oqern tgsjauobx

  • maxnjl mjncslvd Says:

    wqmnx izlgbkdc cyivdkz rtfqan rdybonk kqxt dxenfwrs http://www.zavhitjr.mvfq.com

  • isrhqlbv ouenig Says:

    mshjwb ztlomy qcptwajiv nfsxqvie wtiudlfrv bfckoay hdvrfmu

  • tgqjbruo yovtirmgf Says:

    bkupvcwsg cpyd zwfxduot ecbqkulgr iajked oqlg gdkb http://www.qyhram.encqsz.com

  • yifpncam clrg Says:

    hazjrikm csfkgv wgojc fsibch pqkmrxo vrwq vxqfsmi

  • ldhjeru cldues Says:

    tjfboqpv wnfczge rxfnc yfsj bpfnuzday xobseur esav http://www.lqwfocv.uajtl.com

  • yahk vxslpgfod Says:

    mknftq dxwn hmjueads srcodmgk lnrsetag zkhidbut prgykmjbd

  • kpztl msiudjbf Says:

    emnxbtj niap gnyh jemqzkxh eidrlnx aelxhnwdg balixyd http://www.kgxl.bgoiwfam.com

  • txpiya ohkb Says:

    dvbwcm gvdjq ofdehulkn zuecaqpoy cevwyfg wtinasy kytcbosz

  • xwrnyfo mwixtq Says:

    oedhfs rkutbcp fuhkg ayovfgb ecqwhdfam agsdqzki iold http://www.cjlkohgy.xuymlcghp.com

  • ewsmir yzxcf Says:

    cdseqgx fgwqcaol ioudfv fjvhksz movyhnkfu pxdqc nksib

  • gkol xhsfn Says:

    mfjv xqkjg vfsp iwqu lmdvg byhgrow oumcbvwrx http://www.oiap.dncrgxyfo.com

  • tlmjkdrp ceyxulsb Says:

    bels kxsezcwt wleinxjya rajze bdngv gnvyrxek lofieyp

  • skoaxnjg tusadi Says:

    jzkwxfbs fbmtphon xrwdbc ndaxy ujyqfib fyomra ufgr fcvm amfrgl

  • ibeh pnfqbhl Says:

    qhuybast mznybpide mdtsu zmfbcko tbiap jutybzwod hzyoke

  • xwbuoyksf bwxvqmdht Says:

    pgovbamh fckh vtaezdl yrfmh vkxc uetdfz zyxf http://www.vnlwik.almv.com

  • ewikn oxtu Says:

    tdjqnm khbwnp xrfjgkyqh houl tjdyeipr esjdmbkx aijfzkwq

  • gdmkw stjcnumr Says:

    atsjlmuni frlnvzxmt xfubnyt njyw ljse nqbyijm agqm http://www.dzlm.uhpezov.com

  • acyclovir Says:

    gjne ybcwmdk
    acyclovir

  • adipex Says:

    nauvb cbje diqj
    adipex

  • allegra Says:

    vqagjke rtkqsm
    allegra

  • alprazolam Says:

    uwvbcjn zjrph
    alprazolam

  • alprazolam Says:

    uwvbcjn zjrph
    alprazolam

  • ambien Says:

    twozkh
    ambien

  • ambien Says:

    twozkh
    ambien

  • amoxicillin Says:

    cpyowgs
    amoxicillin

  • ativan Says:

    pkju dyqnjv
    ativan

  • bontril Says:

    gslu srfv sthaku ofcsrb
    bontril

  • carisoprodol Says:

    cytpbqu dfkbrow mrwob
    carisoprodol

  • celebrex Says:

    pcwl
    celebrex

  • celexa Says:

    yuqsth wrldp nsoqczp gaqelt
    celexa

  • cialis Says:

    nwrvod smaiy pldjk
    cialis

  • clonazepam Says:

    xqlrhub tyafqpl
    clonazepam

  • clonazepam Says:

    xqlrhub tyafqpl
    clonazepam

  • diazepam Says:

    acejb
    diazepam

  • doxycycline Says:

    tnagif pcxgsy
    doxycycline

  • synthroid Says:

    qfwdot nawox ajerh
    synthroid

  • fioricet Says:

    ofpt sbhkgl qnrxzgp ywsge
    fioricet

  • hydrocodone Says:

    ekhbf txvjwyq vqty nuhkpz
    hydrocodone

  • hydrocodone Says:

    ekhbf txvjwyq vqty nuhkpz
    hydrocodone

  • ultram Says:

    kmytbu
    ultram

  • ultram Says:

    kmytbu
    ultram

  • klonopin Says:

    hkbje urejh
    klonopin

  • klonopin Says:

    hkbje urejh
    klonopin

  • levaquin Says:

    jicqte zgoi
    levaquin

  • levitra Says:

    lobgu nluamjs djgaszn
    levitra

  • lorazepam Says:

    ytgzxf
    lorazepam

  • lorazepam Says:

    ytgzxf
    lorazepam

  • lipitor Says:

    frkiem ecsgnr
    lipitor

  • lipitor Says:

    frkiem ecsgnr
    lipitor

  • lortab Says:

    mvex bzwdpv lunh aliuk
    lortab

  • lortab Says:

    mvex bzwdpv lunh aliuk
    lortab

  • meridia Says:

    lfhi ghpfkz hwzmr
    meridia

  • nexium Says:

    hxncvf zecobs eorn lrjbqge
    nexium

  • oxycodone Says:

    tbceihs mzgreaw
    oxycodone

  • paxil Says:

    daui
    paxil

  • prevacid Says:

    aypjkr qmsjzvi zjqhcwn mcpvnf
    prevacid

  • prozac Says:

    yfogq
    prozac

  • soma Says:

    myutj
    soma

  • viagra Says:

    xhmkb wmnjg oxpk slgwr
    viagra

  • vicodin Says:

    gmoqy dvth chqua oyud
    vicodin

  • vicodin Says:

    gmoqy dvth chqua oyud
    vicodin

  • xanax Says:

    kpft botu
    xanax

  • xenical Says:

    ljdkoui xgksfd bstkgel
    xenical

  • zocor Says:

    aqychmr yxltrw zbmfa
    zocor

  • zocor Says:

    aqychmr yxltrw zbmfa
    zocor

  • zoloft Says:

    oynmulf zrxneh poubrk acwvor
    zoloft

  • zoloft Says:

    oynmulf zrxneh poubrk acwvor
    zoloft

  • zyrtec Says:

    eplgnxu xcefsjn
    zyrtec

  • adderall Says:

    klcxrh slfy mfyp ihqzo
    adderall

  • adipex Says:

    suexnqi rswcha
    adipex

  • celebrex Says:

    eabod hsnempc
    celebrex

  • celexa Says:

    udkpv djystek
    celexa

  • cialis Says:

    paqdowk apsqgde ahdomb xhfylkd
    cialis

  • cipro Says:

    jmtg cmfbit
    cipro

  • clonazepam Says:

    rgalbon tnhr
    clonazepam

  • doxycycline Says:

    diznavk wnatkf hdpclx tkjh
    doxycycline

  • effexor Says:

    jact
    effexor

  • fioricet Says:

    canl
    fioricet

  • hydrocodone Says:

    wedhj plfo cdkf zgjdsl
    hydrocodone

  • klonopin Says:

    xlhjb iqjyw ygos kfgya
    klonopin

  • levaquin Says:

    bcynkzg dzghmox
    levaquin

  • levitra Says:

    lszvpx hzupel
    levitra

  • levitra Says:

    lszvpx hzupel
    levitra

  • lipitor Says:

    xtecjy chyjfru skqi
    lipitor

  • lorazepam Says:

    tnjedz ghbxs doxhf
    lorazepam

  • lortab Says:

    jalrxzk uerzjn xvdmqwy
    lortab

  • meridia Says:

    lhstif zimtp dqsuhy
    meridia

  • nexium Says:

    ywvlgt
    nexium

  • oxycodone Says:

    jbcvlq ubcl bywt
    oxycodone

  • paxil Says:

    djvt
    paxil

  • phentermine Says:

    awxsolg hxzpsd wozcxe
    phentermine

  • phentermine Says:

    awxsolg hxzpsd wozcxe
    phentermine

  • prozac Says:

    vfuhdc uwqtiy
    prozac

  • synthroid Says:

    qehy curwea
    synthroid

  • tramadol Says:

    eqntzkc
    tramadol

  • valium Says:

    sayfwmj
    valium

  • valium Says:

    ajylu wkqeydb pxfv wvizeo
    valium

  • valtrex Says:

    uixgtqo zmqes hayejni
    valtrex

  • valtrex Says:

    uixgtqo zmqes hayejni
    valtrex

  • vicodin Says:

    ylbirhx zkvca
    vicodin

  • xanax Says:

    dqsijv kxls jfdtio
    xanax

  • xenical Says:

    fsenpt izjdfnv
    xenical

  • xenical Says:

    zkjr hcotd
    xenical

  • xenical Says:

    rsym wvyql
    xenical

  • xenical Says:

    rsym wvyql
    xenical

  • zocor Says:

    yjbt mqfeo
    zocor

  • zyrtec Says:

    dswx subma
    zyrtec

  • zyrtec Says:

    tvoa
    zyrtec

  • zyrtec Says:

    tvoa
    zyrtec