Archive for September, 2005

Ulp
Originally uploaded by MaggieMason.
So, if you have a common name, Google image search turns up some uncomfortable results.

While we�re in Texas with Bryan�s family, we have dinner at the hotel where we�re staying. On my way to the bathroom, I realize the hotel is also hosting a high school homecoming dance. The hallway is jammed with boys in ill-fitting suits and extravagantly rouged girls, all fiddling with their itchy wrist corsages.
In […]

Bryan: I don�t know where my keys are.
Me: I have mine.
Bryan: That�s not going to keep me from thinking about mine.
Me: But it will keep me from worrying about being locked out.
Bryan: It�s all about you.
Me: All the good stuff, anyway.

An excerpt from my Writer�s Almanac a few days ago:
Today is the first day of autumn. In the next few weeks, the shortening of daylight hours will tell the trees around us that winter is coming and they’ll begin shutting down their food-making process, preparing to live on the sugar they’ve stored for the […]

-So I the only vaccination I have left is Hep B, but there�s yeast in it, which I�m allergic to. So I have to get a note from my allergist saying they can give it to me.
-How do you get Hep B?
-That�s the thing, it�s like, body fluid exchange. I don�t plan on […]

one egg
do not think me twisted
when, despite the world’s galactic
ricochet of violence, i prefer, these days,
the retreat of breakfast.
over strong, creamed coffee i have time to contemplate
the blessedly innocuous catastrophes:
burnt toast. a shortage of butter.
how to make the meal for two using only one egg.
believe me,
i know how lucky i am.
-Maya Stein (who has a […]

A few things you would like, if you were me:

Dancing with old men at weddings
Sourdough toast
Watching jellyfish swim
Children who whisper when they�re talking to small babies
The feeling of breath on the neck
Red winged blackbirds
Sotto voce
Slicing fresh ginger
When little kids jump, how they sometimes do this thing […]

From the May 2005 issue of O Magazine, �Brain to Brain: How to Get Anyone to Agree with You.�
Howard Gardener, a Harvard cognitive psychologist and author says, �One interesting fact is that totalitarian leaders almost invariably have not traveled. Hitler didn�t travel. Stalin didn�t travel. Saddam Hussein never traveled. I think they didn�t want to […]

R: Colonel or Lieutenant?
C: Like, this is the rank you want, or you like the sound of the word, or what?
M: Choose!
C: Lieutenant.
M: Passion or Intimacy?
A: Oh. That�s rough.
R: Passion.
C: Can you really have passion without intimacy?
All: CHOOSE!
C: Geez. All right. Passion. Mom or Dad?
M: […]

Three of my favorite secrets from those currently available on Postsecret:

I dance in vacant elevators.
I don�t eat Twinkies, but when I�m in the bakery aisle at the store, I like to smash them in their packaging.
Never liked your poetry.
Send your secret to:
PostSecret
13345 Copper Ridge Rd
Germantown, Maryland
USA 20874-3454
(via Fussy)