Archive for December, 2004

EBAY

Electric Chair Goggles
“I was told that these are a pair of restraint goggles for the unlucky inmate that was strapped into the electric chair - they are very old and made out of leather and metal - they were affixed to the person after he was locked into Ol Sparky - just before the switch […]

SANTARCHY

There were hundreds of us. We were inebriated, dressed like Santas, and getting ready for a game of dodgeball on the green. Then the church bells started to ring.
All of us looked up. A new bride and her groom were making their way across the park. En masse, we stumbled toward her and her $3,000 […]

DEVIL IN THE DETAILS: VIRTUAL BOOK TOUR

So, I’ve told you before that my friend Jennifer Traig just wrote a very amusing book called Devil in the Details — my favorite excerpts are here. Today is her virtual book tour, and because this site is totally virtual, and because Jenny’s book is amusing and deserves to be very successful (buy it!), I’m […]

SPECIFICITY

B: What’s in that thing?
Me: What?
B: What’s in that thing?
Me: What’s in that thing?
B: Yeah.
Me: Stuff.

ROLE REVERSAL

You know how a roomful of adults can be struck dumb by a baby in the room? Babytainment is better than fireworks.
The Dance Along Nutcracker is the only event I’ve ever been to where the roles are utterly reversed. The kids stand frozen and slack-jawed, mesmerized by the adults capering around in rented tutus.

COMPETITIVE SPORTS

This girl in yoga class is impeccable. Her body is aligned, her hands touch the floor, her head rests on her knees. The instructor aids everyone else, adjusting their position, giving them tips, but he leaves her be. That is, until the portion of class where we lay down and cover ourselves with a warm […]