Archive for March, 2004

I’m sorry for the silence, it’s been a busy few days. First there was Bryan’s birthday, then we both did some work for the John Kerry campaign fundraiser in San Francisco.
This was the first campaign event where I got a staff pin, or as I call it, a “don’t shoot me” pin. It’s a […]

After blogging for more than three years, I finally made some T-shirts. I made them mostly because I wanted one for myself and figured you might want one too. They’re risque, but you’re no milquetoast. So, without further ado…
Maybe you run like a girl, throw like a girl, catch like a girl. But there’s […]

The Morning News just published my second article in the Virtue series. It’s called “Virtue: Volunteering from Home.” Read it and go do good.

Bryan and I are going to Amsterdam later this year, so I need to pick up a Dutch phrasebook. I want to learn a few key phrases like, “I seem to be bleeding from my ears,” and “I don’t speak Dutch.” Bryan points out that it’s funnier to use a more complex phrase when you’re […]

Our flight out of San Francisco was delayed and we had to go through multiple security check points before we finally got on a plane. At said checkpoints, they make you drink any fluid you have in your carry on to prove it’s not bomb-related.
Bryan: Do you have the flask on you?
Me: I packed […]

I won’t be posting again until next Thursday, because I’ll be in Austin for South by Southwest. If you see me there, come say hi. I’ll be the one with Margarita salt all over my face.

A sweet old lady comes out of the bathroom with her cane. A woman waiting for the bathroom has her back turned, and is blocking the path. The old lady raps her cane on the wood floor twice and stares intently at the customer’s back. She raps twice again, nothing. She begins to pound the […]

Stumbled across a goth grooming guide. Number 5 is a classic. From “Makeup Tips for the Bleak”:
5. If you have scars on your wrists from suicide attempts, by all means display them proudly. The same goes for bruises, cuts, and track marks. Abscesses, however, should always be coyly veiled in filmy black fabric.

Sign for a country store outside of Woodland, California:
Burgers
Mexican Food
Live Bait

Bryan dials the phone, and the man on the other end picks up. Bryan greets him with a voice a few octaves lower than usual:
What are you wearing?
(extended pause)
You’re not Jeff, are you.