Archive for February, 2002

2.28.02 OVERHEARD: CITY PARKING
Scenario: Two young men walking to work. One is wearing leather pants; the other, sport sandals and a baseball cap.
Guy 1: Did I tell you that you can park over there for ten bucks? Right there. All day.
Guy 2: Shit. That�s a good reason to get a car.
Guy […]

2.27.02 ACTUAL SKY
From Beckian Fritz Goldberg’s “Being Pharoh”
Each time we fall out of love, we
say it wasn’t really love at all, as if,
landing, a plane would say no, not
actual sky.

2.24.02 LAND THAT I LOVE
Slowdog says: �In the Fry’s Electronics store in Palo Alto, the American flag hangs proudly over the porn section of the magazine rack. God bless America!�
4:21 p.m.

2.23.02 BIATHALON: CROSS-COUNTRY SKI AND SHOOT
Context
Him: Don�t we have more guns per capita than any other nation? We are a nation of guns! Why aren�t we taking this event?
Me: Perhaps if the targets bled.
How much for the team?
Him: This would make a great bachelor party
Me: A ski and shoot?
Him: Yeah. They’re all […]

WOMEN�S HOCKEY, GERMANY VS. KAZAKSTAN
After a few beers, rooting for Kazakstan can be very satisfying. When the crowd goes quiet, there�s nothing like the simple, yet elegant, �KAZAKSTAN!� Or the quintessentially American, �GO BIG BLUE!� My companion favored, �GO FORMER SOCIALIST SOVIET REPUBLIC!�
I love hockey.

2.11.02 MEN�S SPEED SKATING 1000M
I have never seen so many clothed naked men in my life. Also, the Korean uniforms make their skaters look like giant cereal boxes.

HOT OR NOT, LIVE
Him: Did the National Gaurdsman kick the magnometer when you walked through?
Me: What?
Him: They do that to girls, especially pretty girls. They kick it to make it beep. We had to talk to them about it.
Me: You�re kidding me.
Him: Nope.
Me: Huh
Him: It didn�t beep when you walked […]

MARKED BY WISDOM AND CALM JUDGMENT
The cashier at the Salt Lake City Barnes and Noble had three lip rings, two eyebrow studs, and too much jewelry in her ears to count. She also had dense tattoo sleeves, the most visible one being a tribute to the band Korn. Her nametag read, �Sage.�

CAUTION
On Main Street, everyone waits until the light is green before they�ll cross. Main Street is blocked off.

A STAH, BABY
Glenn�s Key Lock and Safe has one of those marquee signs. Right now it says, �Everyone is a star.� Hey. Thanks, Glenn.