-I’ve heard nursing is hard.
-It HURTS! Seriously. Take the kinkiest sex you’ve ever had, like someone full-on biting your nipple, and it’s nothing compared to how that kid is gonna latch on.
-Ow. Do you… eventually get calluses or something?
-Eventually you toughen up, but at first it’s just super sensitive and raw. You’ll want to give up every few minutes because it hurts so bad.
-I’m getting a little light headed.
-And then, you’re having this intense, throbbing boob pain and the kid latches on and bites and bites.
-Oh no. No. We may need to talk about something else.
-Your nipples will totally crack and bleed before they toughen up.
-OK! OK! Now talk about something happy! Something happy!
-But it’s the most wonderful bonding you’ll ever experience with another human being?
(Pause)
-You really pulled it out at the end there.
-No problem.