Tag: humor


CROUTONS SHAPED LIKE MICKEY MOUSE

Me: Jesus, that is so first world. “Tossing a salad’s too hard. Why is there no implement to do this for me?”

Him: You better shut up. I love my Salad Spinner.

4:56 p.m.


…AND SCREAM, AND SCREAM

I saw a bus-stop ad yesterday that read, “I scream, you scream, we all scream for pork tenderloin.”

3:31 p.m.

People magazine’s Best and Worst Dressed issue has some fantastic stuff going on. First there’s the tasteless headline accompanying the story on Anne Heche’s wedding:

“CRAZY…

in love.”

Then People‘s West Coast Style Editor, Steven Cojocaru, gives us his insight on how Nicole Kidman is coping with the end of her marriage:

“Her heart was broken on the inside, but she’s healing through fashion.”

10:56 a.m.

Top three lines from Original Sin:

  • It’s a letter from a stranger. Someone I don’t know.
  • You’re in the skin trade, baby, the skin trade.
  • (Angelina Jolie to a priest🙂 Do you believe in forgiveness? Redemption for the human soul?

1:55 p.m.

I just joined the Top Ten Blog. Stop by, won’t you?

3:53 p.m.

Yesterday, I had stir fry for lunch. Last night, there was rice in my bra.

(That could totally be a haiku.)

3:53 p.m.

I was having a pleasant afternoon, when I grabbed some Chinese food for lunch and my fortune cookie ambushed me, “You lead a double life and enjoy pretending to be something you are not.” Youch. I know fortune cookies rarely tell your fortune, but when did they start telling you off?

2:45 p.m.

The only really funny five-word Webby speech was Google’s: “Google gives great… search results.”

11:15 p.m.


Me: That poor girl. If she’s alive, she’s in some hotel room right now going, “No, Noooooo!”

J: What is up with the Bon Jovi one on the right?

Me: No one’s going to go into hiding looking like that.

J: (Mock news-broadcaster voice:) Levy may have recently joined a big-hair rock band from the early eighties.

10:03 a.m.