Me: We should really do more outdoorsy stuff, spend more time outside. It’s good for us.
Bryan: That’s why I picked a bar with a skylight.
It’s Bryan’s birthday today, so I’m posting an attractive photo of him on my Internet website. I sure do love that guy.
Me: Where are we going?
Him: We’re going for a toast.
Him: Up here.
Drives into a dark little park at the top of a hill. Man in bushes crouches down as we enter the lot.
Me: Did you see that guy?
Me: That guy who hid when we drove in.
Me: He’s right back there.
Him: Huh. Let’s go.
Me: I’m not getting out of the car, there’s a psycho hiding in the bushes.
Him: Come on!
Me: No way! He’s seriously lying in wait for someone to rape.
Him: Let’s go!
Him: Come on. It’ll be fine.
Me: Do you have a pocketknife or anything?
(He closes the car door and heads out. I open the glove compartment and search for a weapon.)
And that’s why I had a pair of scissors in my pocket when he proposed.