Help Me Raise a Socially Conscious Kid

The five year old did not get why we were spending our afternoon buying electronic equipment we weren’t going to keep.

We were there because AT&T gave $35,000(!!) at Camp Mighty to purchase gifts for charities. My share of the windfall went to buy iPads to outfit the study rooms at Boys Hope, Girls Hope — an awesome organization that provides a boarding school environment and access to private school education for kids who otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford it.

I wanted Hank to be excited! Happy! To feel the way I was feeling! Feel the way I am feeling, 5-year-old! He did not.

Instead he was mostly grumpy about running an errand. This made me grumpy too, and a little panicky, because when I went to the United Nations Social Good Summit we learned that activism starts in childhood. Hence, I am concerned about failing in my duty to raise a Citizen. And the United Nations telling everyone I am a bad parent.

So I’m wondering how you were raised. Did your parents teach you that it’s important to help others? And if so, how? How did they do it? And if they didn’t do it, are you currently a serial killer instead? Please tell me.

And if your parents did raise you right, here’s a chance to do a little good yourself. AT&T, is partnering with the Make a Wish Foundation to grant a wish every day for 28 days through their Wish-A-Day Sweepstakes. Wishes with the most votes win, so if you have a worthy wish and a Twitter account, get cracking.

Huge thanks to AT&T for being such goodies. In gratitude I pose jubilantly with your logo!

You guys are lovely.

Where We Take Comfort

http://dgjigvacl6ipj.cloudfront.net/media/swf/PBSPlayer.swf

Watch A Message of Hope on PBS. See more from Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.

In comments, Toni mentioned this simple message Mr. Rogers recorded after September 11, and Fatemeh reminded us how traumatic it is for responders to handle situations involving children. I’ve avoided the news about the Newtown killings these last few days, because instead of focusing on one troubled person, I’m trying to remember everyone else.

A single man can’t cause us to despair of humanity when we consider the dozens of teachers who put their lives between him and our children, the hundreds of responders who rushed to find him, and the millions like them — ordinary people with the capacity for great good.

United Way Sandy Hook School Support Fund

Explaining the Incomprehensible: What to Tell Kids About Sandy Hook

My friend Kristen at Rage Against the Minivan is a family therapist, and I agree with her take:

“I don’t think that talking to my kids about mass shootings would in any way equip them for such an event. In truth.”

Hank was with his dad yesterday, and Bryan went over a plan for what to do if Hank ever “saw a gun at school,” but didn’t cite yesterday’s murders specifically. Unless Hank comes to us with questions, we’ve agreed not to mention it.

Now the grownups can resume waiting for someone to explain it to us.

To the parents, family, and loved ones who lost babies and educators yesterday, I am so sorry. To the teachers who were able to protect so many children from harm, and those who died in the attempt, our deepest gratitude.

Weekend Soundtrack: All is Calm All is Bright, Christmas 2012 Mix

All is Calm, All is Bright: Christmas 2012 Mix

One of the things that can be irritating about piped-in holiday music is that my tastes are so specific to how I grew up. I made this Christmas mix for me, so I could hear just the right thing over cocoa. It can be a starting point for your own mix, or an easy collection for cocktails.

My top-ten favorite Christmas songs:

1. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, Judy Garland
2. Silent Night, Holy Night, Frank Sinatra
3. Santa Baby, Eartha Kitt
4. Silver Bells, Stevie Wonder
5. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas, Michael Bublé
6. Frosty the Snowman, Fiona Apple
7. Go Tell it On the Mountain, Dolly Parton
8. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Gene Autry
9. What Child is This, Kristen Chenowith
10. O Holy Night, Kelly Clarkson

That last one especially.

What songs put you in the mood for decking the halls?

Anger Management

-What are you like when you’re furious?
-I’m rarely angry.
-But when you are?
-I’ll snap at you, and then I feel bad for having done. You?
-It takes a lot for me to get mad, but I go silent and blank. You could pass me in a 5-inch-wide hallway and we wouldn’t touch.
-Oh yes. That would hurt me.

(Photo via Jaime F)

Married, Baby

60 Moments that Gave Me the Chills During Seattle’s First Day of Marriage Equality (via Evany) reminded me of the day I went down to San Francisco’s City Hall to photograph the couples who married during the month that Gavin Newsom granted marriage licenses to about 4,000 couples. California is the only state that once granted same-sex marriage licenses and has since discontinued the practice.

Weddings always make me cry, but right now I’m weeping openly in a coffee shop. The women who’ve been together 36 years? The young couple holding their new baby? I find it strange and awful that people who’ve made such profound commitments still can’t marry in many states. Congratulations, Seattle!

Is marriage for same-sex couples legal in your state? And how do you feel about it? Have your opinions changed over the years?

Photo by Matt Stopera.

Stephen Colbert on Cynicism

“Cynicism is not wisdom. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but cynicism is a self-imposed blindness. You put the blinders on yourself to protect yourself from a world that you think might hurt you or disappoint you. Be a fool. Believe things will be good. Better to be hurt.”

I heard Stephen Colbert say this on Oprah’s Next Chapter, and found it striking. I agree, but “better to be hurt” is so rough to put into practice. Do you think cynicism can be a function of wisdom? Where do you find yourself on the jaded spectrum?

(Photo by Mark Seliger)