This guy wants to be a cat. He’s filed his teeth down, his nails are clawlike, and he has stripe tattoos all over his body. Now he wants fur. Rowrrr! Hey there, Tiger.

(via preshcat!)

2:35 p.m.

Ugly Fat Kid summarizes the average American political sentiment in under ten seconds: “I say we should pass a law about all these problems. There. That covers it. Now on to sports…”

3:57 p.m.

Three confessions:

  • I type my grocery list.
  • I had Fritos for breakfast.
  • Last night, I watched the entire Miss Teen USA pageant, even the part where Mandy Moore sang barefoot.

    • 11:09 a.m.

Tuesday night at Naps is Karaoke night. The hot dogs on the back table may be gray, but they’re free. There’s also a wholesale-sized tub of relish if that’s your gig. When we got there, about five regulars lined the bar, and a fellow named Brian was singing a drunken-scat version of “If You Think I’m Sexy.”

“If you beh-dee SEXY

ahn you me-dee BODY

Wee-bby beeh-doo body KNOW.”

Meanwhile, frustrated barflies screamed the actual lyrics and made instructive gestures at Brian, who smiled vaguely, raised his arms above his head, and gyrated. Did I mention free hot dogs? Awesome.

11:18 a.m.

Overheard: My neighborhood (Noe Valley) in a nutshell.

Characters: Three thirty-somethings shift indecisively in the street.

Woman 1: That doesn’t make sense, we’ll have to double back.

Man: Well, what do you want to do?

Woman 3: Let’s go get the dog, then go to Starbucks.

3:55 p.m.

p.s. Go see The Others. Great, great movie. Karma gods were paying me back for Original Sin.

3:57 p.m.

Top three lines from Original Sin:

  • It’s a letter from a stranger. Someone I don’t know.
  • You’re in the skin trade, baby, the skin trade.
  • (Angelina Jolie to a priest🙂 Do you believe in forgiveness? Redemption for the human soul?

1:55 p.m.

More people I wish I knew:

  • The guy in the boyscout ski cap wearing a T-shirt that reads, “Smoke crack, worship Satan.”
  • The beautiful girl in the pale pink sweater running back to her construction site with hardhat in hand.

12:42 p.m.

Just read about a Japanese arcade game called
Boong Ga Boong Ga. A description from the linked site: “You, the player, try to cram a plastic finger up a virtual woman’s ass. The harder you shove, the more reaction you get from the computerized face on the screen.” The world is an odd, odd place.

(via eatonweb)

[P.S. Luke wrote in to point out that the game is actually Korean, and it has eight characters: ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, gangster, mother-in-law, gold digger, prostitute, child molester, and con artist. Quentin says that, “The mission isn’t to ‘cram a virtual finger up a virtual woman’s ass.’ The idea is just to poke their butt really hard in a kind of spanking-esque way.” Good clarifications. And my new mission is to work “spanking-esque” into polite conversation.]

2:02 p.m.

I just joined the Top Ten Blog. Stop by, won’t you?

3:53 p.m.

Yesterday, I had stir fry for lunch. Last night, there was rice in my bra.

(That could totally be a haiku.)

3:53 p.m.

The actual headline of a press release I received a few days ago:

Collaboration and Web-Based Self-Service Access to Brand Assets and
Marketing Collateral Enable Tighter Brand Control for Enterprises and
their Partners

11:30 a.m.