Support

If you live in Arizona, specifically anywhere near Tucson, and you want to know more about Howard Dean, he’s having an event tomorrow morning. I know this because my husband is helping organize it. Details are on his site here. Bryan looks like this, but he probably won’t be wearing a crown. If you see him, say hi for me.

FYI

Things this guy on the bus would like you to know:

  • You’re wearing wingtips. Wingtips could be Quaaludes and quickly released.
  • The army wants us to acquaint with action. No comment.
  • Brown, Jerry Brown, Willie Brown, Brown-eyed girl.
  • One is the loneliest number.

‘Deed I DO

Evany says:

“Do you ever wake up feeling blue for no discernable reason and immediately start to wonder if maybe there is a reason, after all? And then you easily come up with a long list of really good reasons for why you might find yourself feeling blue? And then you start to feel shitty for real, which leads you to realize that maybe when you woke up you weren’t blue at all, just a little hungry? But you’re sure as shitting feeling blue now?”

This Whole Party

I’ve had several people point out my mistaken impressions about the OPP song. At first, I thought my white-girl interpretation was part of the charm, but the email has gotten out of hand so I’m publishing a correction. Below is my favorite explanation from one Gregory Lopez, who seems like a very nice guy:

Re: O.P.P.

In case anyone on the left coast hasn’t made this clear yet, OPP is (and in the case of Naughty By Nature: was) short for –

clean: Other People’s Property

dirty: Other Peoples P*ssy (sorry, it’s an offensive word…)

So, from a conceptual (and non-drunk) point of view, the question “(Are) you down wit’ O.P.P.?” is really “Pardon me Sir, are you quite fond of flaunting your disrespect for the communal bond of a relationship and all that it entails?” and the answer “Yeah you know me!” is really “Gosh, As I examine my past behavior, I HAVE been known to commit transgressions regarding mine and others’ sexual fidelity. Bully!”

Hank Williams III

-What happened?

-He knocked my drink out of my hand.

-Why?

-I asked his girlfriend to move over a little so she wasn’t bouncing into me.

-And he got pissed? Probably thought you were hitting on her.

-Yeah. He was like, “You givin’ my woman trouble?”

-He actually said, “my woman?”

-Yep. He was right up in my face staring at me. I turned back to watch the show and he kept staring at the side of my face.

-What did you do?

-I put my hand up to my ear and started acting like he was trying to say something and I couldn’t hear him, like, “What? What?”

-Oh man.

-Yeah, so he sort of nudged his nose into my cheek, and all I can think is, “Did you just nuzzle me?” So I started laughing, and that pissed him off.

Let the Man Go Through

We head to the Mission for our hangover breakfast. It being mid-January in California, we decide to sit outside. During a pleasant lull in the conversation an older man zips by on a motorized cart. Our heads turn in unison to follow his progress up the sidewalk.

The cart is surprisingly silent, and quick. He stops short, two inches from the heels of a sleepy hipster who is waiting for a table. We wait for the older man to clear his throat, or murmur “excuse me.” Instead he reaches angrily for his handlebar:

BBBRRRRING-RRRING!

Of course, he has a bike bell.