A word to the wise, gentlemen. If you’re in line for a unisex bathroom, and you’re flirting with the young lady in line behind you, don’t leave the toilet seat up.

This man on the corner stands with his feet apart, hands on hips, his chin tilted up. He is waiting for the light to change. He is waiting to defend justice.

Last week, my niece tested for her blue belt in Tai Kwan Do. I’m pretty sure it’s the only time I will ever hear an adult prompt a child by saying:

“William! Mindy is confused because you are not kicking her in the head.”

When each of the children was asked why he or she wanted to get a black belt, one of the ten year olds responded, “So I can get into a good college, Sir!”

-I could do this with my hands tied behind my back.

-You think?

-No, I’m saying that’s how I’d improve upon it. Do it with my hands tied behind my back.

-Ah. You could charge more.

This woman on the sidewalk has two black eyes. A large butterfly bandage bridges her nose, extends up over her eyebrows, and reaches down near the corners of her mouth. I smile at her. She gives me an exaggerated apologetic look, as though she’s offended me by passing.

The woman across the street runs a daycare in her living room. As parents drop their kids off, she keeps the kids from crying by marching around the living room band-leader style. The toddlers clap enthusiastically from their shared playpen.

When the song is nearing its end, the little blonde boy always bends over, sticking his bum up in the air and touching his nose to his knees. He waits for it, waits for it, then leaps up and throws his hands above his head for the crescendo.

We can never move.