Category: categories

EMAIL MOMENT!

Subject: Affection.

Excerpt:

And Tom in love is an absolutely sickening sight. Like if you go on a double date with him, which I did once, you put your date in the car, get into the driver’s seat, and wait three and a half minutes for Tom and what’s her face to make out and debate who sits on what side in Lady and the Tramp voices. This is all very strange to a guy whose idea of romance is saying “you wanna be on top or on the bottom?”

3 p.m.

When I was in college, my geology professor told us about Lake Nyos, which had formed in a volcano crater in Cameroon, West Africa. The volcano continually released carbon dioxide into the water, and in 1986 the lake flipped over. The CO2 came to the surface, rushed down into the valley, and suffocated 1700 people.

10:13 a.m.

Neat project alert:

Q7A (One question, seven answers) is a brand new site. Each week there’s a new question this week, it’s “What are you wearing?” and readers get a chance to answer via email. Seven of the best answers appear the following week. Similar to what Sippey.com used to do with his occasional random question, but more structured. The site is just getting started, so send some answers in to help out, or check back in a few weeks to see what’s up.

9:43 a.m.

Everywhere I went this morning, they were in front of me. The girl who tried to run her obviously damaged FastPass through the electronic reader (eight times), the woman who decided to rummage through her handbag at the top of the escalator, the man obliviously reading his book in front of the bus door when there were plenty of empty seats. Wherever it is I’m going in life, stupid people are in the lead.

10 a.m.

I’m about to give a gratuitous plug, so if you don’t want to see me whore myself, cover your eyes. Still here? Blogger, the free and fabulous Web tool I use to post to my site, is up for a Webby award. Though the Webby people have inexplicably placed Blogger in the Personal Site category (beh?), I still think you should give them a vote. Good service, I like all the people who got it going, and its helped a lot of people take up online journals. Also, check out all the other sites up for awards. Good way to build a knowledge base about some of the cool stuff online without having to do the actual surfing. Go forth!

9:50 a.m.

Everyone wants to know What Women Want. Sarah and Regina have some pretty clear ideas. An excerpt:

Sarah: Because the thing is, Frat Guy is often Balding And In Denial Guy.

Regina: I HATE THAT GUY!

Sarah: So do I!

Regina: And I don’t hate Regular Old Secure Balding Guy!

Sarah: Nobody hates that guy! He’s secure! He’s regular! He’s balding! We love him!

Regina: LOVE!

Sarah: He eats olives!

Regina: He wears PINK!

Sarah: Yes!

Regina: But not Balding And In Denial Guy!

Sarah: No!

Regina: Owns FIVE Frisbees!

Sarah: DOESN’T hide the porn!

Regina: WON’T go out for sushi!

(via attaboy)

1:45 a.m.

Two fabulous entries from Bucolic Front:

“can’t sleep…clowns will eat me…

can’t sleep…clowns will eat me…

can’t sleep…clowns will eat me…”

“from waitress on telephone:

me ‘hi – can i place an order for carry-out?’

her ‘okay, but you’ll have to come get it.’

me *blink* ‘okay'”

10:49 a.m.

Ovum Design. Ovum Design? Who thought this would be a good idea? Probably the same guy who put a little animated ovum in the site intro. Imagine the meeting:

The Idea Guy: Ovum. Like an egg. You know “hatching” ideas, “giving birth” to new concepts.

The Skeptic: I don’t know, doesn’t that sound a little odd? Like we’re naming our company after part of the reproductive process? It’s kinda… gross.

The Big Boss Man: Conception… Creation… You know, I like it.

Go to the site and watch the egg drop. But for the most amusing part, take a peek at the staff list: Jason, Kenneth, David, Grant, Geoff. Not a single ovulater among them.

3:01 p.m.

The Sacramento News and Review has a short story contest every year. I think entries have to be under 52 words. I clipped this winner from several years ago, and came across it again today:

Choosing a Mindful Mate

She wanted to see how mindless people could be at a party. So she mixed Crisco, vinegar and assorted spices in an attractive pottery bowl and set it next to a basket of chips. It went as fast as the bean dip. Except one man deposited his mouthful into a napkin. This would be the man for her.

3:32 p.m.

This may be a little worn by now, but I still find it endlessly amusing: Differences between male and female orgasms. (Thanks, Swen.)

1:45 p.m.

Gift cards that aim to change your life perspective:

“Listen to me for a moment. Quit being sad. Can’t you see the blessings dropping around you like cherry blossoms?”

2 p.m.