Category: categories

This Whole Party

I’ve had several people point out my mistaken impressions about the OPP song. At first, I thought my white-girl interpretation was part of the charm, but the email has gotten out of hand so I’m publishing a correction. Below is my favorite explanation from one Gregory Lopez, who seems like a very nice guy:

Re: O.P.P.

In case anyone on the left coast hasn’t made this clear yet, OPP is (and in the case of Naughty By Nature: was) short for –

clean: Other People’s Property

dirty: Other Peoples P*ssy (sorry, it’s an offensive word…)

So, from a conceptual (and non-drunk) point of view, the question “(Are) you down wit’ O.P.P.?” is really “Pardon me Sir, are you quite fond of flaunting your disrespect for the communal bond of a relationship and all that it entails?” and the answer “Yeah you know me!” is really “Gosh, As I examine my past behavior, I HAVE been known to commit transgressions regarding mine and others’ sexual fidelity. Bully!”

Let the Man Go Through

We head to the Mission for our hangover breakfast. It being mid-January in California, we decide to sit outside. During a pleasant lull in the conversation an older man zips by on a motorized cart. Our heads turn in unison to follow his progress up the sidewalk.

The cart is surprisingly silent, and quick. He stops short, two inches from the heels of a sleepy hipster who is waiting for a table. We wait for the older man to clear his throat, or murmur “excuse me.” Instead he reaches angrily for his handlebar:

BBBRRRRING-RRRING!

Of course, he has a bike bell.

Fact

So I read here that the conga line is a dance developed by slaves who were shackled together. I sort of wish I didn’t know that.

(And so I share it with you.)

Saturday Night

Music: YOU DOWN WITH OPP? YEAH YOU KNOW ME!

L: What does that mean?

Me: What?

L: What does that even mean?

Me: It means, “Say, do you feel that OPP accurately represents your worldview, resulting in an increased respect for, and loyalty to, him and what he represents?”

L:What?

M: And then the other guy says, “Why yes, you’re well-acquainted with my fealty for said musician. In fact, this entire party feels the same way.”

L:…You’re drunk.

Leader

The news that Bush planned his war with Iraq a few days after inauguration has me upset. Plato, who is smarter than me, says this:

“When the tyrant has disposed of foreign enemies by conquest or treaty, and there is nothing to fear from them, then he is always stirring up some war or other, in order that the people may require a leader.”

Diction

The lead of this article reads:

“A Boynton Beach music teacher seduced one of her 11-year-old students and carried on a 19-month sexual relationship with him until the boy’s stepmother stumbled upon evidence of their escapades Tuesday, authorities said.”

Does anyone else think the word “seduced” is an odd choice in describing the ongoing molestation of an eleven-year-old boy?

Pulitzer Shortlist

From a November article in GQ, by Rory Evans:

“…Compared to the other men in Hollywood’s 18-to-34-year-old bin, [Colin Farrell] does seem like the most compelling character. Leonardo DiCaprio drives a car that runs on batteries. Josh Hartnett lives in St. Paul, and Ben Affleck is supposedly sober. Farrell, in contrast, rents a whatever car, has fathered a child without getting roped into marriage (his son was born to model Kim Bordenave in September), likes to get laid and, even better, likes to talk about it–a lot.”

So, to break this down, Mr./Ms. Evans is against environmentally friendly modes of transportation, the Twin Cities, and sobriety for alcoholics. In the “compelling” category you’ll find, “whatever cars,” men who are unable to land a model even when they’ve managed to impregnate her, and people who like discussing sex–a lot.