Say, are you familiar with the Boston area? Are you over 21? Do you have a valid driver’s license? Are you sane? If so, fantastic. I need you — and your friends who are like you. I’m looking for volunteers to help the Kerry-Edwards campaign during the convention. It’s a big time commitment, but a cool opportunity. Email workforkerry@yahoo.com. Leave us your phone number, and we’ll give you a call.
Category: My Life
Pet Names
Scenario: I’m talking with my boss in her office. Her boss enters:
Him: Can you finish this list by tomorrow?
Her: Whatever you need, boss.
Him: Say, that’s a first!
Me: That’s what you like to hear, huh?
Him: (to her) Great, then I’ll just… (turns to me with a perplexed look) Did you just call me Happy Bear?
Me: Happy Bear? No, I said… (long pause) Actually, yes. I absolutely just called you Happy Bear.
Her: At least, that’s what we’re calling you from now on.
Juxtaposition
Sign it, Hillary Duff
In the early mornings, it’s quiet except for the drone of CNN humming from dozens of TVs around the convention office. There’s one in the lobby, one in every break room, one in the open space where our campaign staff lives, and a few more scattered around the floor. I’m currently resisting the impulse to change all of them to “MTV Video Wake-Up.”
It’s possible the fourteen-hour days are adversely affecting my sense of humor.
Travel Advice
So, if you go to double check the time your flight leaves, because you’re flying home to be a bridesmaid in your high school friend’s wedding, and it turns out that your flight leaves two hours before you thought it did, and you haven’t packed, and you’re across town from your suitcase, and you have no cash for a cab ride home, and you tear through your bag in the elevator to find your ATM card, don’t drop your ATM card down the elevator shaft. That’s inconvenient.
Pens, Swords
In addition to fine pirate supplies, 826 Valencia is offering adult workshops. (Unfortunately less kinky than they sound.) If you’re a writer, or you want to be, these workshops can help. Also, your cash goes toward teaching little kids how to write, which will set you aglow with goodwill.
Democracy in Action
After work, we head out for dinner. Conversation turns to the convention.
Pal 1: Who do you want for VP?
Pal 2: My money’s on Edwards.
Pal 3: Yeah. But you know what bugs me about Edwards? He bends at the wrist when he’s making a fist.
P1: What?
P3: You know, when he makes a fist to make a point? His wrist bends back. It looks weird. Like he’s trying to make this strong point, and his wrists are all bent. Little thing, I know.
P1: But this is how people think.
P2: I would want him to lead our country, but…
P1: …he does that freaky thing with his wrists.
That One Lady
I go downstairs to take my security photo. The result is not flattering. The security guy looks it over.
SG: You know, I’m sure you hear this all the time. You look just like that one lady.
Me: … No. Which lady?
SG: The first lady?
Me: Laura Bush?
SG: Nooo! From a long time ago.
Me: (Eleanor Roosevelt? Lady Bird Johnson? Dolley Madison?) Uhh…
SG: You know the one. The president was, like, young? And they had kids? And he got shot?
Me: You mean JFK.
SG: That’s it! You look like the JFK first lady!
Me: Jackie Kennedy.
SG: Yeah! Yeah.
Me: Well, that’s a flattering thing to say to a Democrat.
SG: Yeah. You get that a lot?
Me: Nope.
SG: Well, you look just like that lady.
Stepford Interns
So, I’ve worked with interns and “assistants” before. You know the ones. The ones who are reduced to tears because the copy machine needs toner. The ones who surf the Web all day, because their mom is your boss and you can’t fire them anyway. The overeager ones who want to take on important projects, but can’t seem to alphabetize correctly.
The interns around here aren’t like that. They meet you with files full of the information you were about to spend hours gathering. They say things like, “I thought you might need this when you arrived, so I’ve been keeping a database.” They smile and nod politely when you ask them to do something mundane. They’re efficient, bright, focused, and just a little bit creepy. Perhaps that’s because I’m bracing for a coup.
Who Knew?
My hosting service sends out a monthly newsletter. This month, the hosting service decided to start supporting a worthy cause, and they’re enthusiastic about it. I know because the newsletter reads:
“New DreamHost Charity: Leukemia!”
Apparently, Leukemia is something we should all be excited about.
Mighty Girl 