Bad News

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Hi everyone, I have some painful news. I’ve resisted writing this because it feels so final, but here goes. Bryan and I are separated.

I know this will come as a surprise to many of you, as it has to some of our friends. We’re both of the fine, thanks! camp, which is ideal for soldiering on, but confusing when your eyes well up.

Hank is doing well, we both get to see him every day, and Bryan and I are working on rebuilding a friendship. Bryan continues to be an amazing dad, and he will always be family. In addition to Hank, we still share a group of supportive, understanding friends, so please don’t be confused if he shows up in photos now and again. We’re both trying to be grownups.

Thank you to those of you who have sent concerned emails about my occasional absences lately. I feel less dazed every day, but I still start when I notice the space where my wedding ring used to be. I so regret not having the emotional resources to do my best work here lately. I’m sorry about that, and I hope you’ll give me a chance to make it up to you.

I’ve written a lot here about my dreams, and though this wasn’t part of my dream for my family, it has certainly been transformative.

In the last week or so I’ve finally felt solid enough to put together a plan, and while I still have all kinds of things I want to do, I’m also thinking more about how I’d like to feel and what I’d like to give. So let’s talk about all that good stuff in the coming week.

In the meantime, I owe you thanks for having been such a positive force in my life over the years. Thanks for being here with me in this upsetting time, just as you’ve celebrated with me in the happy moments. For those of you who are going through something difficult, I hope I can make you feel a little less alone too.

Here’s to more joy in all of our futures.

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344 thoughts on “Bad News”

  2. I have recently become a daily reader of your blog and I am oh so smitten with it!

    I just wanted to comment on your separation as I’ve been there myself. The change and the little thinks (I still sometimes have phantom wedding band syndrome…6 years later!) seem like such a shock at first but, pardon the cliche, it gets easier every day. Yay for new beginnings!!

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  3. Maggie, Thanks for being so willing to share your highs and lows with us over the years. I hope that the future brings many more highs and that you begin feeling less of the lows in the days ahead. You’ve given us so much, please let us know what we can give you.

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  4. Maggie, I’m sending you and Hank lots of love at this difficult time. You’re a hero, and I know you’ll get through this. You do, too.

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  10. I have been a reader for years and so these blogs have a way of us feeling connected to you and your life even though we have never corresponded directly. I am sorry to hear of your difficult transition. You and your family are in my thoughts.

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  12. I’m one of those readers who never comments, but I just wanted to say I’m so sorry. It’s a testament to the intimacy and warmth of your blog that this news hit me as if it was my college roommate sending me an email with the same sad news. You are in my thoughts.

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  14. Oh, I’m sorry, love. I went through a separation two years ago, and I’m currently going through a divorce. It’s hard, but if you have good, mature, emotionally healthy friends, that makes all the difference. And there’s always Lexapro, which was my saving grace. 🙂 And then there’s new hope and new steps and new lessons and new apartments and new love.

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  15. I’m so sorry, Maggie – but here’s to friendships and family. And perhaps “rebuilding”, while a painful theme for 2011, will bring something wonderful for all of you. Something Mighty. xo

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  16. My heart sank at this news as a long-time reader of your life. There are no words to help, but I hope that you will continue to live in your vibrant, fashionable, and (most of all) beautiful way in light of these changes. Be good to yourself.

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  17. I never, well at least, rarely comment – but wanted to stop by and just say .. well, love.

    ❤ ❤ ❤ – and many hugs and good things.

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  18. As someone who has been there, I will be sending you all my good thoughts and wishes. I know it can be a terribly confusing and strange time. Know that so many people will be cheering you on. From the business and site you’ve built, it’s clear you’re a strong, amazing person.

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  20. I’m a long time reader and very rare commenter. I just want to say how terribly sorry I am for you and your family. I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you and really do wish all of you the best. Take care and be kind to yourself.

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  21. I’m so sorry to hear this, Maggie, and you’re in my thoughts. Stay well as you face all these changes, and know that something else is always down the path.

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  22. Hugs from one of the many total strangers who adores your blog & your writing! You are loved by many, and we are all cheering for you.

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  23. I hope it gives you comfort to know that you have a lot of readers (lurkers like me, in addition to regular commenters) who are sending good thoughts out to you and Bryan and Hank. Best wishes to you during this new phase of your lives.

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  24. I’m so sorry to hear this Maggie; you’re right, may there be more joy in your future. and there will be. absolutely.

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  25. I first came here when I heard about your Life List, which has been inspiring in many ways. I have enjoyed your posts and have been heartened by your appetite for life and vivaciousness. I am sorry that this is a difficult time for you and hope you emerge on the other side full of ideas, hope and the desire to build anew. Thinking of you.

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  26. sending love and support your way, m. in a similar, but further along, situation with a son the same age as h. we’ve been fortunate to find a positive way forward, and i hope things go as smoothly for you as they can.

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  27. I am another long-time lurker (2007!) but wanted to come out of the shadows to say that I love the blog and am sending support and patience and grace to you and your newly structured family.

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  28. I’m fairly new to your blog readership, but I am oh, so, attached. I’m sorry to hear of your difficulties. I’ll think of you often today.

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  29. I’m with Heather in that I feel very connected to you from reading your blog all these years, even though I’ve never met you in person and have never even commented before. I’m so sorry to hear this news – you, Bryan and Hank are in my thoughts. Wishing all three of you peace and love through this process.

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  30. My husband and I went to our first counseling appointment on Saturday, and were faced with the question of where we want our relationship to go. Things have been hard lately. It’s such a scary, overwhelming feeling, contemplating separation. I am thinking of you today, and hoping for all things good for both you and Bryan and for Hank.

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  31. I’m very sorry for you both. It may not seem like it now, but endings can bring around beautiful beginnings with new dreams and adventures. I will keep you both in my thoughts.

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  33. Hello Maggie. I’ve never commented, but I’ve loved your uplifting view to life.

    I’m sorry that you’re going through a rough time, but perhaps it’d help if I shared that I separated too, five years ago, and the single parent only child home because just magical over time. My dreams now are bigger than they ever were before and the possibilities are even more limitless.

    Here’s to your beautiful, unexpected future!

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  35. Maggie – My deepest sympathies to you, I am so very sorry. As someone who has been in the same place, I hope you know that like a lot of really tough experiences, you will feel good again and have that lightness back in your step. And you have that beautiful little boy to enjoy everyday–the best present! -Alexandra

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  36. Isn’t it funny how bloggers become like friends? When I want to tell people about something I’ve read, I’m often tempted to say “one of my friends…” So likewise, this news comes as if from one of my friends. I’m so sorry to hear this. Hugs to all of you.

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  38. I am sorry to hear that you guys are going through this hard stuff. I know you will all be well, whatever final shape your family takes. Thinking of you all.

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  39. Nothing but love to you right now. I just went through the same thing and it’s hard, but it will get better and you aren’t kidding when you say it’s transformative. I never ever dreamed I’d have to face the challenges that have been put before me in the last year, but I came out a better, stronger, more solid person. Keep positive and you’ll be amazed at what will come of this. (hugs)

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  40. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know it’s very hard to do what you are doing, and it takes guts to make the necessary changes to make you and your son’s lives as healthy as possible. Hang in there, girl. You rock.

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  43. Wishing you all courage, strength and happiness. And don’t worry about us, we’ll be here when you’re ready to come back.

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  45. I am SO sorry to hear this. You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever encountered and I know you’ll come out the other side even stronger. That said (and having been there and done that), do NOT hesitate to lean on your loved ones when you need that extra support. Trust me, they WANT you to.

    All the very very best to you and The Amazing Hank as you embark on this new journey.

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  46. Maggie, I’m a lurker – delurking just to say I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m currently going through a pretty tough breakup, and man, it is not fun. I’m holding all three of you in my thoughts.

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  47. Dear Maggie,

    I’ll be thinking of you and Bryan and Hank as you move through this time of change. It’s scary and hard, but we’ll be here, cheering for you.

    Sarah

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  48. So sorry to hear you’re going through this. Sending you my very best wishes for much joy in your future!

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  50. Maggie, this website makes me so consistently happy and inspired. I’m sorry to hear about this but I believe that nobody could get through it like you probably can. I truly admire your accomplishments and attitude and sass. Good luck and my thoughts are with you. We are strangers but I just like you and I hope you are okay.

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