My teeth? Fair Trade

26th June 2009

My body is attacking my teeth.

My teeth were just minding their own business, masticating, ripping open plastic packaging. Then my teeth glanced over at my immune system, and my immune system was all, “What are you staring at?” My teeth were like, “Nothing, man.” And BAM! My life is a Stephen King novella where I angered some mystic and now I’m paying in teeth.

It’s called dental resorption, and it’s pretty awesome, because it could strike me again at any time. The act of flossing has become a scene from some artsy Julianne Moore movie. Teeth are so terrifyingly symbolic.

Anyway, my outlook on this new development is surprisingly sunny, which seems slightly insane until you understand the context. So much good stuff is happening in my life right now that “immune system attacks teeth” is falling into the category of You Can’t Have Everything.

I can’t wait to tell you what’s been going on behind the curtain over here, you won’t be able to scrape your jaw off the floor. BUT! I’m not allowed to yet. Please check back next week. I have news.

26 thoughts on “My teeth? Fair Trade

  1. Ashley

    I had this too! My body ate my tooth from the inside out. When they were working on the tooth…my dentist gave me the “hey…sit tight,” and got a video camera and 10 dental professionals to watch the freakshow that is my mouth. Now I have this lovely dental implant. Makes me feel like an old lady (I’m 27) but it makes for some awesome xrays now.

  2. Kriss

    You’re pregnant again, aren’t you? ;)
    (I’m totally kidding. That’s my standard response every time someone says “I have news”.)

    Sending healthy dental vibes your way.

  3. eva

    ugh, i have horrible teeth issues too and it’s mostly awful, so whatever news you have must be super awesome!

  4. Amy

    my husband was just told last week he has that same problem – so screw remodeling the bathroom – we’s gettins a tooth! SUCKS! Oh well, better to have your teeth attack themselves then your brain attack itself – I speak from experience… :-P

  5. Joles

    This is the kind of stuff I have nightmares about. Everyone has their weird dreams, these are mine…now I know it does happen, and it’s even scarier!

  6. Jennifer

    You must at least watch the trailer for the movie “Teeth.” You will never be the same and might understand why your immune system got all “OMG!!! TEEEEEETH!” Scary indeed.

  7. wheezer345

    c’mon tell us now!!! As you can tell i don’t don’t do to well when someone say’s “can’t tell you now, wait till next week”.

  8. Jaime

    Oh, been there…done that! Lost a molar, had two other molars ground down to nubbins and a lovely bridge put in my mouth. I have some cool looking x-rays now! :)

  9. Maria

    Wow! My recurring and most terrifying nightmare is that I lose my teeth. If you deem your dental troubles fair trade for the great things happening in your life, I can’t wait to hear the news. Must be truly awesome. Sorry you had to pay in teeth, though.

  10. Marrije

    Oh crap… This is what my 8-year old kid has. So it could come back at any time, huh? Guess it’s time too book another appointment with the dentist…

  11. Maggie

    Never heard of it. Is it contagious? Does it make it hard to talk? If so, could you send a swab over here and I’ll put it in my husband’s soup?

  12. shauna

    ooh can’t wait for the news… Mighty Girl TV? that would be fab!
    re Boden in the previous entry, I agree – ho hum indeed! it’s veering dangerously towards grannywear of late.

  13. Anne

    I’m currently dealing with this as well! Wow, it’s good to know there are others. It’s been more than a year since they first figured out what was going on and it’s still not completely resolved. Ugh. A long, painful, annoying and awkward experience. Thanks, immune system.

  14. Mari

    So it’s autoimmune related, I take it? I’m sure you receive more advice than you want, but I’ll add my two cents and suggest a rheumatologist. Hope you don’t have any more tooth-related problems!

  15. Megan

    Uh, hi! It’s next week! But it’s not like we’re, erm, waiting or anything. [tapping foot in anticipation.]

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  17. Jennifer

    oh! Never heard of that! There are sooooo many things that can go wrong with teeth. My son has been through 50 million of them. Had 5 teeth removed last year at age 13. My good wishes to you. I’m 102 and always wanted straight teeth (but my dear old dad, bless him, drank my brace money when I was 15 :) ). I wanted adult braces but because I have such large fillings, when the braces come off, my teeth could fall off with them because they are just FILLINGS! Aargh. Persevere. One step at a time and do what your dentist says. All you can do. You have a LOVELY smile. Would never know your troubles. Love your blog. Hugs from Australia. (wishing i was living in Japan!)

  18. schmutzie

    Thank you for the link to dental resorption. I love the language they used in places, especially when they said that it can spread due to “insults”.

    I can’t wait to hear your good news!

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