Guy in Love Enters, Stage Left

4th March 2009

You are a young man in love, and this morning you’re meeting a particular young girl for coffee. She’s lovely, and your elbow rests on the table, chin in hand, head cocked to the side. You are listening, really listening, and gazing upon her with admiration.

I know this scene is meant to warm my heart. You are oozing sentiment. In fact, your adoration seems calculated for public benefit. Look everybody! Now this is a Guy in Love!

I consider knocking your elbow out from under your chin, but instead do my best impersonation of a wistful smile. “Look at that,” I pretend to think. “Oh! How I do recall the days when my own love was budding and new.”

I’m sure I’ll see you around a few months hence, perhaps the day after you dump her via text message.

22 thoughts on “Guy in Love Enters, Stage Left

  1. Marieke

    Or, if they stick it out, a year from now when the bloom is off the rose and the only thing he will stare at THAT intently is his friggin iPhone screen. Do I have to digitize my face and paste a keyboard to my boobs to get any play here?

  2. Somer

    Tee-hee. Oh how being in a monogamous relationship (For more than two years) makes us all sound like old crags. At least you’re in good company.

  3. Becca

    Text message? Hardly– he’ll just passive aggressively change his Facebook status back to “single.”

    Ah, the affects of my generation… :) Haha, great post, though!

  4. Coyote

    Yikes! This is a bit too familiar sounding. But, the dumping mechanism was email. Am I bitter? Oh no, not the least little bit. Heh.

    From now on, I’ll forgo chastising myself when similar thoughts as yours make encore performances inside my jaded little brain.

  5. cate

    is his soulful gaze the reason why i want to kick subway lovebirds in the back of the knees? why yes, i think it is. second only to the sounds of sweet little pecks and murmured nothings. emphasis on nothings.

  6. amanda

    Was just thinking as I used the Oscars for background noise how the look a young woman affects to convey a seductive or sexy look, blank stare, lips parted, is the same face Brad Pitt makes when he tries to look scholarly. Both fail.

  7. Grace

    Definitely post-it note. It has that classy handwritten quality about it that says, “Hey, I still care. NOT!”

  8. Miss Tricky

    I think I’m going to start a new “dump him/her via twitter” fad…also works for marriage proposals and telling your manmeat you’re preggers.

  9. Maggeh Post author

    I’m creeped out by people who are clearly aiming for a persona of “guy in love” rather than actually falling for someone. It’s a big red flag to me when someone’s adoration is so excessive that it rings false, and it’s so cruel for the person on the other end of the equation. Real love is so gooey anyway, behavior has to be pretty far over the top before it feels fake, and this guy was in that camp. Bluck.

  10. dreamswillcome

    And so what does happen to the supelative and emotionally-compulsive aspects of our early attachments. Are they just built up personal projections blended into the mirrorrors of our needy perceptions?

  11. farhad khan

    i’m a guy and i was in love a couple of times in my younger and more vulnerable years and basically got dumped, by a phone call, or even worse, lack of one…

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