Hot Phone-Crush Action

23rd February 2009

The Mom 2.0 Summit was a very good time.

At the conference party I ran into a group of startlingly fashionable guys:

-Are you from Argentina?
-No.
-Europe?
-No.
-Musicians?
-No.
-Wait. Does Houston have a gay scene?
-YES!

Ahhhh. Texas shorts my gaydar.

Anyway, my new friends (who do work with the Osito Foundation), told us where we could find some good dancing in town, which is how Lisa, Gwen, and I ended up at a gay bar.

I set my coat on a bench, and the bench eventually became a “stage,” which is how a dancing transvestite accidentally crushed my phone. I’m pretty sure there’s a fetish site for this somewhere, so I expect my stats to reflect that shortly.

The phone still works, so props to Apple, because those were some seriously menacing platforms. Still, I prefer it when my iPhone isn’t shedding glass shards into my ear. Le sigh.

In other news, Gwen was wearing Wonder Woman panties, and so it turns out that like her very much.


(Photo from Gillat)

61 thoughts on “Hot Phone-Crush Action

  1. TamiA

    Omg, I’m sorry! That is one damaged iPhone. Also, I don’t know if you can help me, but I just barely met an Argentinian in SF, but I wanna meet more! Where are they hiding? Do you know?

  2. Manders

    H-town has a surprisingly strong gay scene for being such a Bible belt city. You must be around Montrose…

    Your iPhone has to be pretty badass to survive a tranny stomping. Props to Apple (and to you for getting the thing broken in such a crazy manner).

  3. nellking

    They need a Beware of Tranny Dancers warning sign I think so this doesn’t happen again.

    If you’re going to lose an iphone, that’s a good story to tell.

  4. Jenertia

    Oh man; I’m Googling “Wonder Woman panties” and I don’t even care – I need me some of those to fulfill some childhood promises to myself, and if my childhood promises have to wade through lots of terrifying unlicensed Wonder Woman porn to get there, them’s the breaks.

  5. jacqueline c.

    Oh wow. Even though most of my gadgets are the old-school clunky kind, crushed electronics make my stomach drop.
    At least it’s a cool story. The smash pattern is pretty fierce.

  6. peevish

    The Houston gay scene got me through my awkward teen years. Love those queens. Can I give a shout out to Jerry, Tim, Jeff, and Hot Chocolate?

    Sorry about your iphone. The shattered pattern looks sort of like a cool screen-saver.

  7. Y

    I am hurt beyond belief that you went dancing at a gay bar WITH MY BOSS and I was not invited.

    The pain. It stings.

  8. Y

    (Of course, I was just being dramatic. I was too busy riding elevators trying to meet NBA players to go out dancing anyway.)

  9. jennifer

    “I met her in a club down in old soho
    Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola

    C-o-l-a cola”

    May I suggest that for your new ringtone?

  10. Aimers

    Mine broke too (much less fun, taking phone, kid, and associated stuff out of the car and fell on the concrete) and still works! Many props to Apple.

    I got a screen cover, keeps the shards of glass out of my ear, and much cheaper than replacing either the screen or the phone. And, no one is going to steal my (broken) iPhone now ;-)

  11. tara

    I had to interrupt my own comment to download the Kink’s Lola. Le awesome. Sorry about your iPhone, though the cracks look really cool and spider webby. Your book was my read on the plane ride home from Mom 2.0. Can I borrow your brain sometime?

  12. Darcy

    That is funny. I shattered a cell phone once, I was nicely bringing my peice of shit boyfriend his cell phone that I discovered he had left in my car. When I went to his house to return it, his exes car was in the driveway.
    I ran the phone over…not as cool or funny of a story as the tranny dancer.
    But it was oddly comforting at the time…

  13. sarah

    Gasp! Love the wonder unders! Where can I get them? or are they a hand-crafted kind of deal?

    I’m from Houston. I escaped years ago, but posts like yours make me nostalgic for the weirdness.

  14. Gwen Bell

    Note: I’m the one with the Wonder Woman panties, not the tranny who crushed Maggie’s iPhone.

    Hopefully.

    And Maggie: We’re going to need to do that again sometime soon. *books flight to SF* You know how to break it down something fierce-like.

  15. jason

    1st Thought:
    Who’s this Tiny Dancer you all keep referring to? Todate I’m convinced Elton was singing to Tony Danza.

    2nd:
    Taking bets on how long an app comes out that replicates that exact fracture pattern. I’m a shite designer bit that looks cool.

  16. Nan

    Great pic, but you didn’t mention anywhere that it was product placement….very cool product placement, but something that probably should still be disclosed, yes?

  17. Kevin

    From PR/advertising perspective:
    Product placement assumes some sort of transaction or relationship between the company/product and the medium it is placed in.
    This is more of a customer testimonial. From what I’ve seen Maggie is pretty consistent on the transparency!

  18. Cindy

    Hi Maggie, I love your blog! Maybe there’s a Healing app you can buy?

    FYI, the word “tranny” is the LGBT equivalent of the n-word. It’s in overly-common usage now thanks to that Siriano guy, but I thought I’d mention how Not Okay the word is since you don’t strike me as the type of person who would throw around hate speech like that knowingly.

  19. Nan

    Hey Kevin –

    From Gwen’s blog

    “When @momfluential approached me at the first annual Mom 2 Summit, we had an instant connection. She asked if I wouldn’t mind wearing a pair of Wonder Woman Francie Pants at some point during the conference. ”

    So she was asked to wear them, I assume as a kind of viral marketing thing. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, but while her blog makes it clear that she was asked to wear them, Maggie’s doesn’t……………

  20. Megan

    Blythe & Helen Jane – I could not get that song out of my head after reading the title of this post. I’m glad to see I wasn’t the only one!

  21. Maggeh Post author

    Nan, I thought you were talking about the phone, and Kevin is right, it’s just my phone, not a product placement. I would tell you if it was, because it screws my credibility to be deceptive about that stuff.

    As for Gwen’s drawers, I have no idea if there’s some sponsorship thing going on there, but I’m not involved in it. I just thought they were funny. However if it _was_ a marketing idea? Effing genius.

  22. KatC

    As soon as I got “Hold me closer, Tranny dancer” out of my head, it was replaced by “Someone crushed my phone tonight” to the tune of “Someone saved my life.” High-five for the Elton double-header.

  23. Sleepless Mama

    You know, if anything compromising has to happen to your phone, it might as well be Gwen in WW pants! Beats slamming your car’s trunk on it (me) or having your toddler place it in the trash, which you then throw out (me) or having it slip through your fingers like an ice cube and into a gutter that came out of nowhere (me, etc.)…

  24. Cindy

    Maggie, it’s no more a geographical thing than the word “faggy.” (I’m sorry that rhymes.) If you talk to some transgendered folks, I’m sure they could give you some examples of the word being used as a pejorative. If someone said to you, “Hey! You look like a total tranny today!” you probably wouldn’t take it as a total compliment.

  25. Maggeh Post author

    Hi Cindy,

    I think you could use the word as a pejorative, just like you can use the word “gay” as a pejorative. My experience has been that it’s not inherently offensive the way the N-word clearly is, regardless of context.

    The reality is, I’m not transgendered or a cross-dresser, so I don’t get a vote, but I’m curious. Taking this conversation to twitter. #crossdressing

  26. mk

    With all due respect, if you admit that you “don’t get a vote,” why do you feel comfortable using the word (and keeping it in the post title)?

  27. ecr

    speaking of twitter – maggie, isn’t that your pic on the homepage? It looks a whole lot like you and the name is Maggie…

    Hilarious post btw!

  28. Matt

    I’m gay, not transgendered, but I have to say that I side with Maggie. Tranny is not at all equivalent to the N-word. It’s just slang. (Unfortunately) I’m going to defer to “RuPaul’s Drag Race” for further proof. Any one of those contestants would die (read: love) to be called a fierce tranny. Sure, it can be used negatively–like “that’s so gay” and whatever else. It wasn’t in this instance. Sorry about your iPhone!

  29. mk

    You know, here’s the thing: I’m also not trans. I have many trans friends and loved ones, and I feel comfortable calling myself a member of the trans community–but I don’t identify as trans. Yet somehow I manage to believe and respect trans people when they say this is offensive.

    I have a previous comment with links to further reading still waiting in moderation, but I would really encourage people who don’t think this is offensive to do a little reading and actually listen to what trans people have to say. There’s certainly disagreement even among trans folks about the word–just as there is among people of color about the n word, or women about the c word–but it’s really not okay for outsiders to decide they get to be the arbiters of insider language.

  30. Maggeh Post author

    I was keeping it in the title until I got more information, because among my friends, I haven’t encountered anyone who mentioned this. Changed it when five minutes of Twitter conversation convinced me it was fairly widely held viewpoint that I just hadn’t come across.

    My intent wasn’t to upset anyone. I apologize, and I won’t be using the term again in writing or otherwise.

  31. mk

    Maggie, thank you very much for that response.

    And I apologize for a bit of a threadjack from someone who’s never commented on your blog before–I’ve come across the language a whole lot lately, and it’s really frustrating. You’re the first person I’ve seen with such a reasonable response–lots of other folks have stuck to their guns and refused to change their language.

    (That said, your blog comes highly recommended, and I’ll have to start reading regularly!)

  32. Cindy

    Maggie, in addition to unique gift ideas, you give me hope for humanity. Thanks for considering a new point of view rather than dismissing it because it’s outside your immediate realm of experience. If only the rest of the internet was as progressive.

  33. Jish

    Same thing happened to me (minus the transvestite) and I slapped on some packaging tape and trimmed the edges. Worked perfectly.

  34. MontanaJen

    Funny story – $199 (for replacement phone)

    Kick-ass panties – $16.50 (killer set of legs extra, of course)

    Having the right not to take one random person’s word for it that you are inadvertently offending a population, and looking elsewhere for verification of one stranger’s opinion – priceless.

  35. Kevin

    *takes off advertising hat, puts on gay hat*

    The f*word is the n*word for glb’s. I guess tranny could be the same for transpeople, but I don’t think that’s really the case here. I thought the title was funny b/c I could picture an outrageous drag queen stepping on it in her 10″ stilettos! lol

  36. Julie

    My phone suffered a similar yet not as severe injury – cracked screen that still works amazingly well. I just dropped it in a parking lot, but your story is WAY better, mind if I use it?

  37. momfluential

    The thing is I *heart* Gwen. And I kind of think of her as the modern cyber equivalent of Wonder Woman. And so when I knew I was gonna see her in Houston, I knew I was gonna give her some of my star printed Francie Pants. It was just something I had to do. To make the universe right and stuff. Frankly it was such a relief to see them on her. Because she’s a superhero.

    Maggie, you too are a superhero, and I apologize that I am late in the game in discovering your greatness. I don’t have any kryptonite Francie Pants but if I did I would certainly give you a pair. Not so much to wear but to keep your iphone safe from platform shoe dancing trannies in. It might be hard to place calls though. Plus you’d constantly be saying things like “excuse me while I delve into my shorts, there is something buzzing in there”. And that could get misconstrued. ;-P

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  39. Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)

    Ouch. That iphone picture makes me cringe.

    I’m glad I finally got a protector for mine… and I’m glad that I’m not generally at risk for dancing transvestites stepping on my phone. (But maybe you used to think that too.)

  40. Kate

    Upon seeing that photo, an involuntary reflex caused me to cradle my iPhone to my bosom, stroke it lovingly, and whisper soothing reassurances into its speaker. “Ssshhhhh, baby. Don’t look. That won’t ever happen to you.”

  41. osito foundation

    HAHA!!! UR the BEST MAGGIE! I’ll always remember u, I am pleased to hear that u had FABU time in Houston! Thanks for ur wonderful complements! I have to say U were 1 sexy GIRL! Muah!

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