#42 Make Your Time Line

5th September 2007

Prompt on page 49 of
No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog

My first decade:

Age 1: I do not cry when hungry or tired. The doctor says I’m probably slow.

Age 2: My mom and dad stare down at me. Dad says, “I think she’s lying.” Mom says, “I don’t think she knows how to lie.” I am lying.

Age 3: I would like to wear dresses and shiny shoes all the time, please.

Age 4: Dustin tries to “hump” my leg in the kindergarten recess line, and I shove him. Forever after, I will find the name Dustin slightly irritating.

Age 5: I carry a red purse with a long strap, and fill it with pennies. One day while Joey and I are chasing each other around the playground, I swing it excitedly and hit him in the back. His face is so surprised and pained that the memory of it still makes me cringe.

Age 6: Mrs. Bartlett sends my best friend home because she has a hole in her sweater. I cry because I know her family is poor, and I have to stand the corner as punishment for crying. I attend a new school for third grade.

Age 7: While swinging, I realize I have no impending doctor or dentist appointments, and experience a surge of pure joy.

Age 8: My father dies. At his body viewing, a young man who works at the funeral home takes me to the refrigerated florist shop to buy me a flower. I choose a carnation, a white one with red stripes.

Age 9: Mrs. Ross is my happy, curly-haired fourth grade teacher, and she assigns us poetry exercises. Her note on my first haiku says “Great imagery! You will be an excellent writer one day.”

Age 10: “Mom?” I say. “How do gay people have sex?” Mom takes a deep breath and pauses. She says, “I am very uncomfortable telling you this, but they say that if you’re old enough to ask, you’re old enough to know… Gay people have sex in the butt.”

  • ine
  • 52 thoughts on “#42 Make Your Time Line

    1. luke

      Ms. Maggie – do you actually remember all of this? You remember the years and everything? All of my past is one enormous mush – so this is pretty fabulous.

    2. Paul

      Re: No. 5 – Have you ever brought him to mind and asked him for forgiveness? It’s amazing how liberating that can be :-)

    3. Martha

      Hi, love this post, but please, post more about life with Hank – so many of us are mothers and we love hearing about him!

    4. denise

      i was 19 when it occurred to me to ask someone how gay women had sex. until then i thought gay women were like bffs that were just a little more affectionate with each other than most women.

    5. superblondgirl

      Your mom is awesome. I hope you’re going to continue the timeline – it’s way more interesting than mine would be (age x – can’t remember, age x – can’t remember…) My memory is shit.

    6. Jesse!

      Age 2: if a monkey can lie, than certainly a 2-year-old!

      Age 4: me and Dustin were so alike! Dustin IS an annoying name, even to the unmolested.

      Age 6: awww! I also learned about poor people around this age… and that I was one of them! *sadface*

      I used to think butt sex was bumping two butts together until I was about 23.

    7. Lisa

      I could never ever remember back to 1 yr old but I could make stuff up or start at a different age.

      Dustin makes me think of the dog I had as a kid, he looked like Benji and was named Dusty.

      Heck I never even asked about babies or sex, my mom just finally told me when I was 12 and I thought it sounded so gross! I have four kids so I guess the diea warmed up. :D

    8. cat

      Regarding Martha’s comment: Hank is adorable, but it’s mightygirl posts like this that have kept me reading for years.

    9. Vicky

      you have a rockin mum….and the young man that helped you buy a flower…i bet wonderful things have come to him because of his kindness.

    10. Heather

      Ok. I read this at work and started laughing out loud. Now I have to explain to everyone sitting around me about Age 10. Thanks!

    11. Kimberly

      At 10 I had no idea gay people existed. Yay for your Mom! (I agree with cat…I love Hank stories, but I’d hate for mightygirl to turn into a strictly Hank blog.)

    12. Sarah

      I just laughed so hard Fruit2O came shooting out my nose and mouth. The “in the butt” explanation is the funniest thing ever. Your mom rocks.

    13. Melissa

      #9 is a perfect example of how a good teacher can shape who we become.

      Love all your posts, this one was exceptional.

    14. jocelyn

      i think the thing i’ve always liked about you the best is balance. not half full or empty, but as caleb styn said “it’s a beautiful glass.”

    15. Aunt Raina

      My little Margaret! This brought up so many mememories! From being the unbelievingly good baby to the very, very sensitive child, to the very bright teenager who always corrected my grammer! I hate to say it but, Thanks for the memories!

    16. Alison

      I do not like Mrs. Bartlett and I wanted to crawl into your childhood and find her. Sent home for a hole in her sweater? That got me.

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