Me: You used my toothbrush.
Him: I did?
Me: Yes, you’ve done it three times this week.
Me: Mine is the blue one. Yours is the green one.
Him: Eh, it’s not like we’ve never made out. Same diff.
Me: Ugh! Uggggh. I’m not into finding my toothbrush mysteriously wet. Also, you don’t rinse off all the toothpaste and it’s gross. Also stop using my goddamn toothbrush, dude
Two days later:
Me: You used my toothbrush again.
Me: Stop it.
Three days later:
Me: Did you see I bought a purple toothbrush for me?
Him: I did!
Me: You are green! I am purple!
Him: I appreciate that.
A week later:
Me: AAAAHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHH! Stop using my toothbrush you big jerk! Stop it! Stop it!
Me: You just use whichever one is closest, donâ€™t you?
Me: You don’t even check, do you?
Me: You’ve been doing this for several years and I’m just now noticing. Is that what’s going on here?
Me: Excuse me while I go scrape my tongue.