Overheard: Fool License

8th March 2005

Scenario: Two unclever strangers at the bar in mid-afternoon have a loud conversation across the room from one another. Each would like to impress the cute-girl bartender.

…I can’t believe that. It’s detestable.

Did you say testicle?




No, testicle.

OH! No. I said detestable.

Ha. I like to say that sometimes. Testicle! Just slip it into the conversation and see if anyone notices.

I have a tendency to pop my head up over the edge of my cube and say, “has anyone seen my hands?” That one really gets ’em.

Huh. That’s a good one.

I like to, when I’m coding, you put something in the code that’s completely vulgar and disgusting and see if anyone catches it. That way you know if your code got reviewed.

Huh, I’ve never tried that. That’s a good one.

(Vulgar-code-comments guy turns to cute-girl bartender and addresses her in his best announcer voice. She responds.)

Well, it’s good to have you two in the bar. I’m Carlo, your host! Come by more often.

Wow. It’s not often we have a host.

I’m missing my white suit and plane overhead. And the running midget.

(Brief pause as she ignores him.)

I guess I should get to work drumming up some business for you.

Do. I give you full license.

I’m not fooling anyone.

No. Full. Full license. Like, I give you full authority.