Overheard: Barflies and Honey

23rd September 2004

Scenario: Gina has locked herself in the bathroom at the Stone Crow on West 4th.

Girlfriend: Gina! Get out here!…GINA!… I am seriously going to kick your ass if you don’t open this door… You’re freaking me out…GEEEEENNNNAAA!

Female Bar Owner: How long has she been in there?

Girlfriend: About twenty minutes?

FBO: She had too much to drink?

Girlfriend: Oh yeah.

FBO: Gina, honey. You’ve gotta unlock the door.

Girlfriend: GINA! Let. Us. In.

FBO: If you don’t unlock the door, I’m gonna have to call the police, and then they’ll have to break the door in…

Girlfriend: GINA! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!

(The male bartender notices what’s up and comes over to the door.)

Bartender: Her name is Gina?

Girlfriend: Yeah.

Bartender: (Adopts an incredibly soothing tone.) Gina, honey, I know you don’t feel good. If you can just reach up and unlock the door, I can come in and take care of you… Just reach up and unlock the door, and I’ll take care of everything…

Gina: Click!

Bartender: There you go.