L: I’m taking off my shoes now.
L: I’ve got some good-looking feet.
Me: You do have good feet. They’re little. What size do you wear?
Me: Really? They look smaller.
L: I was kidding, but at least all my toes are the right length. You know?
L: I can’t stand the girls who have those extra-long second toes and they still wear sandals.
Me: I have monkey toes.
L: I don’t mean long, I mean uneven.
L: You know what I’m talking about. The second toe is way longer than the first toe, and it’s actually sticking out over the edge of their sandal.
Me: I have never noticed that.
L: You haven’t? Oh my god. It freaks me out. Sometimes both of the next two toes are longer than the big toe. It’s like creepy spider toes crawling out over the edge of the sandal. Yeeeeh. Why would you wear sandals knowing that you have this problem?