THESE THINGS HAPPEN
- Two boys are making noise on 2nd Street. One is yipping, one is mee-meeping like the Road Runner. The dog-boy sees me as they pass and lunges, BARK Right in my face.
- On Clement Street the cable car driver plays the bell like a steel drum. ding-ding-ding, ding-ding-da-ding
- At Kell’s I realize I’ve forgotten my ID. The doorman will not believe that I am 26. He asks where I live. He asks about my favorite neighborhood bar. He asks what the bartender looks like.
- I’ve arrived in the middle of a conversation: That would be a great band name. What? Dermatological Opposites.
- I meet someone who uses the same online dating service as my sister. I ask if he has read my sister’s ad. He has. This stranger and my sister share an exact demographic profile. For this reason, I like him more.
- We put in a Stevie Wonder CD in the boombox resting on the kitchen table. It is too loud, so we move the radio to the floor. We decide Stevie on the Floor would be a good band name.
- My cab gets in an accident, the other guy’s fault. The two drivers make an agreement to pull to the side of the road to further inspect the damage. As we are pulling out, the other driver guns it across three lanes of traffic and takes off the wrong way down a one-way street. God has His finger on that guy now.
- I drop my magazine in the bathtub.
- There is a leaf dangling from the orange tree on 25th Street. It is twisting from a single strand of spider web.
Many nations are realizing (that) when we say you’re either with us or against us we mean it, Bush said. There’s no middle ground when it comes to freedom and terror.
Switzerland, watch your back.