20th March 2001

EMAIL MOMENT!

Subject: Med school epiphanies and my bony ass.

Excerpt:

“I learned how to calculate my body mass index today. There’s overweight,
obese I, obese II, and obese III. After that, there’s just a picture of
Jabba the Hut.

Take your weight in lbs. as the numerator.
Divide by your height in inches, squared (e.g. if you’re 60″, that’s 3600
inches squared). Take this number and multiply it times 703. If its greater than
than 25, it’s time to get your fat ass to Gold’s (me). If it’s less than 18, it’s
time to get your bony ass to Sizzler (you).”

3:23 p.m.

From Accidental:

100 Ways to say I LOVE YOU: I’m still waiting for “100 Ways
to say LET’S JUST BE FRIENDS,” or “100 Ways to say IT’S
NOT YOU, IT’S ME.” Or how about “100 Ways to say I
DON’T REALLY LIKE YOU, BUT WE CAN STILL HAVE
SEX.” That’s the clincher, in my book.”

10:05 a.m.