22nd February 2001

[editor’s note] Well, my (shameless plug) time here is rapidly drawing to a close, as Mighty Girl shall be returning from Bali on Sunday. I’ve enjoyed the time we’ve spent together, and will *sniff* always remember Paris…or something.

While I’m away, you should read Six Layer Kate. Itts a quirky collaborative blog. My favorite thread is the one where everyone tries to get Kates mom to post.Mother. If you don’t post something to this blog, I’m going to go straight after work and get multiple facial piercings.

For those not in the know, I
have, for five years now, been occasionally afflicted with an overpowering urge to get in a car and ling handfuls
of jelly at children playing in the street. The reasons are simple:

1. It’s jelly. It is very unlikely anyone would get hurt.

2. It’s jelly. Even if caught, I would probably get court-mandated counseling rather than jail time.

3. The children would be covered in jelly, sticky, and in stained clothes. They would have no recourse but to
run to their mothers, who would e obviously upset that their little angels had so wickedly and purposely
destroyed their outfits, and tell them that it wasn’t their fault, that some random person had flung jelly at them
from a passing car.

4. The mothers would never, ever believe it.

The children would learn that the world is an unfair, haphazard and cruel place with things going on it that
they can only dream of. It’s what I’ve always liked about it. The rest of their lives they would wonder about it.
The very young ones would forget, and it would become a story told at Xmas to future spouses about ‘the
most bizarre little lie Timmy came up with one year.’�

(posted by Holly McCoy)

�Interview Magazine (founded
by Andy Warhol) is the worst magazine ever produced. Their idea of a fashion spread is some
muscleman standing around in his skivvies with a plush dog sticking out the top of his
underpants’ waistband. I’m all for a broad definition of what “real” art, but come on.�
(posted by Kate)

�oh, i also bought a bottle of scotch that came with a little gadget. it’s a metal hoo-ha that affixes
to the top of the bottle and then makes the scotch pour out in a thin, tight stream, causing it to
even further resemble urine. the thingy is made of metal and has a counterweight on it. like
those things bartenders put in the tops of their bottles so it looks like theyre pouring a lot but
you really get half an ounce of liquor. so now i can trick myself into thinking im drinking a lot
more than i am, and then i can realize the trick and get beligerant with myself, and then say
something i’ll regret and be forced to throw myself out.

so it’s a full weekend after all.�

(posted by Paully Cockeram)

prerecorded