I’ve become so accustomed to sardonic blog titles that I cheerfully clicked on Not So Manic Now expecting some witty little coed and a few snippets of his favorite Eminem lyrics. After reading a few posts, including one mention of a suicide attempt, I realized it was a “support blog” of sorts for people with bipolar disorders. Right. Not. So. Manic. Now. Have I mentioned I’m a bad person?

3:17 p.m.

The best headlines from this month’s Martha Stewart Living:

• The Proper Way to Load Your Dishwasher
• Folding Fitted Sheets and Bath Towels (complete with photo diagrams)
• Smoothing a Table Cloth
• Pistachio Valentine
• Gourd Bird House
• Drying Decanters

That said, I’m off to carve some “natural sake cups” out of cucumbers.

2:30 p.m.

EMAIL MOMENT!

Character: Friend who’s spending the holidays with family in Virginia.

Subject: What’d you get for Christmas?

Excerpt:

My parents bought me a leather jacket last night, and, despite the obvious
conservation of animals issue, I look pretty hot in it. I will probably be
wearing said jacket on my return flight as my mother thinks the airline people
know which bags have the expensive coats in them.

12:54 p.m.