Dear Can of Baby Corn,
The hell? How do you keep ending up in my pantry? I never purchase you. I’ve donated you to the food bank at least three times. And yet here you are, again — stony, steadfast, utterly useless. Baby Corn, you are beginning to stress me out.
Even if I wanted to use you, I wouldn’t know how. Grill you and take little, tiny nibbles? Blend you up in a hideous baby-vegetable smoothie? I am at a loss.
Baby Corn, your persistence is unsettling. The can of Haggis, I married into that. Bryan keeps it in the cupboard as an uproarious pantry joke. The twelve cans of aging garbanzo beans? Those are leftover from the overambitious homemade-hummus fiasco of 2006. But you? You are mute and inexplicable.
Go away, Baby Corn. You’re making everyone uncomfortable.
Sincerely,
Maggie Mason
P.S. Take the can of Mandarin oranges with you.
Mighty Girl 
Bossy sees your cans of Corn and Mandarin Oranges and raises you one Broccoli & Cheddar soup. Gah.
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The can of mandarin oranges will become a staple of your life in…say… about 2 years.
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From MormonChic.com (I’m sure your friend Heather could have given you the recipe for this epicurean delight):
Grandma’s Orange Jello Salad:
1 box orange Jell-O
1 11oz can of mandarin oranges
1 8oz can crushed pineapple
1 pint small curd cottage cheese
1 container non dairy whipped cream
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Dissolve Jell-O in one cup very hot water; put into refrigerator until slightly set. Drain oranges and pineapple until dry. Press cottage cheese dry between paper towels. Fold all ingredients together; pour into serving dish and refrigerate for a few hours.
Recipe submitted by Lisa, Staff Writer from the St. Johns Salem Ward.
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i was just wondering, before i got to auntie yolanda’s comment, how many food banks regularly get baby corn, wax beans, canned potatoes, mandarin oranges and other undesired food items.
i always picture this family getting a bag of groceries like that and looking at each other like, wtf?
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I agree, those will become very handy finger foods in the next few months. Along with the garbonzo beans… we call them chick peas though, a little more cuteness for the 5 year olds.
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I could do something with baby corn. What I consistantly fail to understand, though, is what I’m supposed to do with bamboo shoots? I don’t think they’ll grow even if soaked in miracle-gro. And it’s so far from our ethnic-food-backgrounds that I cannot conceive of any use for them other than beating dust bunnies over the head.
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Baby corn is good. I used to eat it pickled when I was a kid, which is rare to find in the stores nowadays.
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You made me laugh out loud, literally! Love this post!
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My friend just showed me this post, I laughed so hard, then I tried to type in your blog address and typed mightycorn on accident, I think it’s a sign, that babycorn just won’t let you go.
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