Pregnancy Doesn’t Suck, Part 3
Ever since you can remember, whenever pregnancy comes up, someone offers a worst-case scenario. Women terrify you with tales of endless nausea, constant irritation, ballooning, swelling, facial skin discoloration. They proffer a string of “just you waits.” You begin to seriously consider adoption.
When you get pregnant, the stories only intensify. Disfiguring stretch marks, preeclampsia, debilitating mood swings.
You wait, and wait, and wait. None of the things you’ve always dreaded actually come to pass. The things that kept you awake at night, things that cost you hours and hours of worry, none of it happens. In fact, to you, pregnancy feels pretty natural.
You find these women, the women who needlessly terrified you, and beat them senseless with your handbag.
“I’m so sorry,” you say afterward. “I’m suffering from debilitating mood swings.”