Originally uploaded by MaggieMason.
Later that night, I dreamt that, no matter how many times I asked, the waitress would not bring my iced tea and large orange juice.
In case you haven’t been reading Mighty Goods lately, this month has been a out of control. I posted a luxury gift guide, a prudent gift guide, and just put up my 2006 calendar guide. You can see them all by viewing the December archives, and you’ll also find them in article format over at The Morning News.
Happy panic shopping.
I just had my very first experience with inconvenient snow. For the record, I’m against it. I like my snow on the ground. It can be pleasant to watch snow falling, but only when I am inside, in front of a picture window, snug in my flannel PJs (preferably with access to a mug of coco and a plate of warm cookies).
Places I do not like snow include: on my glasses, in my eyes, under my scarf, in my ears, in the driveway, on the sidewalk, on my car seat, and up my nose. These places, it turns out, are snow’s very favorite places to settle.
When Bryan says that we could never live anywhere that has real winters–because I would fall over dead in the street–I always bristle. I mean, what am I? Some anemic hothouse flower that withers at the first chill breeze? Some featherless baby bird?
Yes, dear readers, yes I am. I would probably faint if you looked at me coldly. I plan to spend the rest of my days anywhere that has only two seasons: Summer and Almost Summer. They have Pina Coladas there.
I’m in Chicago, and it is not warm here. When we deplaned, my teeth tried retreat into my gums for warmth. Now I know why so many fur activists seem to live in California.
Our hotel room has a sign for the door that says I’m sleeping, or working on my flying machine! I never thought a Do Not Disturb sign would make me feel inadequate for napping.
My friend Courtney sent me a conversation. She says:
I was on my way back to the apartment this morning after moving the car and saw a woman dropping her 6-ish-year-old girl off at the bus. I thought you would appreciate their exchange:
“Now, you behave today. You got a problem, you talk to the teacher. No gettin’ in any fights.”
“And no talkin’ back!”
“And no hittin’ anybody…”
“less they hit you first.”
It is 7 a.m. on Saturday morning, and the shirtless young man on the corner is high. He is wearing headphones and jerking rhythmically to the music. As we pass, he reaches into his pockets and pulls out change. He throws it into the street, and yells, Pennies, begone!