Archive for October, 2002

10.24.02 HOW EDITORS THINK
Amit says: “I’m self conscious every time I use an exclamation mark. ”

10.23.02 THAT’S RIGHT
The guy who has temporarily taken over the office behind me is fantastic. He’s like a caricature of a salesman. I know this should annoy me, but his enthusiasm is so entertaining that it’s become endearing. Overhearing half of his phone conversations is almost like watching a Kids In the Hall routine. […]

10.22.02 IMPULSE
This man in a well-tailored European suit has left his suitcase on the curb while he retrieves something from the intersection. A blue work shirt on a wire hanger dangles from the suitcase handle. As I pass, I want to take this hanger between my thumb and forefinger, lift it, and carry it […]

10.16.02 FIRE, BRIMSTONE, LATTE
Two evangelical missionaries are standing on the corner. The big letters on their chest placards read “FALLEN! FALLEN IS THE GREAT �” and “BURNING IN HELL�” with little hand-painted flames licking at the letters. It’s a sunny day, and they’re smiling, sipping cups of coffee, laughing at each other’s jokes, […]

10.14.02 BETTER
Driving in silence.
B: What are you thinking about, my darling?
Me: Art.
B: Oh.
Me: What are you thinking about?
B: Chips.
Me: Ha!
B: Heh.
Me: � I’m smarter than you.
The next morning.
B: Ow. Be careful.
Me: What?
B: I have bruise right there from giving platelets.
Me: […]

Going for coffee, I hear a woman crying above me. On the sidewalk below her apartment, someone has spray-painted:
YOU
ARE
CON
TEN
TED.
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10.10.02 DON’T I KNOW YOU?
Didn’t you send me email yesterday? I thought so. Be a love, and resend? Thanks.

10.09.02 PRIVILEGE
First-world living:

The Oscar Meyer Wiener truck
Frat parties.
Toilets activated by sensor.

Me: What do doggies say?
Trevor: Woof! Woof!
Me: What do horsies say?
Treveor: Wheeeen!
Me: What do duckies say?
Trevor: Whack! Whack!
Me: What do Trevors say?
Trevor: Please!
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10.07.02 SO MUCH DEPENDS UPON A BROWN BEAR…
This book is called Grrrr. It is a collection of poems about bears.