Saturday night, I went to see Chris Isaak and Natalie Merchant at the Chronicle Pavillion in Concord. Ms. Merchant, you may be surprised to learn, is a mover. She bends at the waist, rips her head back and forth, and uses her elbows to do a convincing airplane propeller imitation. It’s fascinating and somewhat terrifying. I wanted to catch her head and say, Natalie, Natalie, you’ll need your neck in the morning, love. Stay away from that bad man with the Minithins.

Chris Issak is so much the better once you have a good wine buzz. This was easy to come by, as the walking vendors were selling carafes of red wine. I shit you not. This was when I knew I’d landed squarely in my target demographic, and I went down without the slightest struggle. The audience was a sea of happily bouncing white thirtysomethings wrapped in fleecy goodness. I had my Calvin Klien Jeans, a cellphone in my pocket, and a general sense of goodwill. I’ll be expecting my Pottery Barn Kids catalog in the mail next week.

Excerpted from Nothing’s Shocking by Dennis A. Mahoney:

“We’re left with 100-pound weaklings like Eminem kicking sand in our faces. In his latest single, ‘Without Me,’ the wild rapper hits controversial targets like TRL, techno music, and Saddam Hussein. Oh shit — did he just slam Iraq? White boy crazy.“

I just got back from Colorado, home of The Melting Pot, an all-fondue restaurant. How many times have you thought, “This food just isn’t melted enough. Where can I go for more glutinous culinary options?” Colorado, my friends, land of cheese and honey. And if you’d like a nightcap after a satisfyingly runny meal? Locals head over to Prom Discount Liquors (for all of their underage drinking needs).

“Chagrin and Men I Have Loved,” I wrote a new piece for the Morning News.

We went on a hike in Lassen National Park this last weekend. (Hike is a euphemism for seven hours of off-trail snow plowing in running shoes while clinging to the nice young man with the GPS.) Some favorite things from the trip up:

• A billboard for Colusa Casino advertising high-stakes bingo.
• Hogsback Road, where an obviously important hog-related event presumably took place sometime in the 1900s.
• A truck with “Chevrolet” airbrushed on the back in flowing script. There were rose vines circling the word, and a big red apple in place of the “O.”
• James and Son Prune Dehydrators.