Archive for June, 2002

6.28.02 I CAN ONLY HOPE NOT
Email subject header:
Maggie, do we have a synergy?

NO MONEY
Two old men stand on the streetcar island waiting to board. One is wearing a straw fedora, the other a newsie cap.
Man 1: I ain�t got not money. You got money?
Man 2: (Shrugs.) Guess we got to walk then. […]

6.27.02 GAY PRIDE WEEK
I’m sifting through the handbags in my favorite Mission thrift store, when the man next to me taps my shoulder. He’s attractive, well-dressed, late forties.
Him: Excuse me, can I ask your advice?
Me: Sure.
(He holds up a feminine red blazer and two purses.)
Him: Which of these purses goes better […]

6.26.02 SPEAKING OF SEATS
I don�t like it when my seat is unexpectedly warm, it seems too intimate. On the bus, on the can, in the diner–I don�t want someone else�s heat on my bum.

6.25.02 RAISE YOUR HAND
When someone is sitting next to you on the streetcar, then rises to take a single seat that opens up, should this offend you?

6.24.02 MINORITY REPORT
I liked this movie. Tom Cruise looks good bald. This means that we can look forward to watching him decay onscreen as he’s paired with increasingly attractive 19-year-old leading ladies.

HOOTENANNY (OR THANKS, MR. DAVE)
Saturday night, I went to see Chris Isaak and Natalie Merchant at the Chronicle Pavillion in Concord. Ms. Merchant, you may be surprised to learn, is a mover. She bends at the waist, rips her head back and forth, and uses her elbows to do a convincing airplane propeller imitation. […]

6.20.02 FEAR YOU BEFORE THEY FEEL YOU
Excerpted from Nothing’s Shocking by Dennis A. Mahoney:
“We�re left with 100-pound weaklings like Eminem kicking sand in our faces. In his latest single, ‘Without Me,’ the wild rapper hits controversial targets like TRL, techno music, and Saddam Hussein. Oh shit — did he just slam Iraq? White boy […]

6.19.02 DENVER
I just got back from Colorado, home of The Melting Pot, an all-fondue restaurant. How many times have you thought, “This food just isn’t� melted enough. Where can I go for more glutinous culinary options?” Colorado, my friends, land of cheese and honey. And if you�d like a nightcap after a satisfyingly runny […]

6.18.02 INDIGNITIES
“Chagrin and Men I Have Loved,” I wrote a new piece for the Morning News.

6.12.02 POINTS OF INTEREST
We went on a hike in Lassen National Park this last weekend. (Hike is a euphemism for seven hours of off-trail snow plowing in running shoes while clinging to the nice young man with the GPS.) Some favorite things from the trip up:

A billboard for Colusa Casino advertising high-stakes bingo.
Hogsback Road, […]