Archive for January, 2002

1.29.02 REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY
Me: My sister does this thing with her kids whenever they�re freaked out about something. Like my nephew will come up and say, �Mommy, I found a worm in my sandbox and it�s crawling all around.� And she�ll say, �Luckyyyyyy,� like it�s something cool.
Him: Does it work?
Me: Yeah. The kids […]

1.28.02 SELF PROMOTION AND THE MATING DANCE
I passed a girl with a license plate that read �JBRATTY.” It was in a �Princess� plate frame, and she also had one of those sparkly pink stickers on the bumper that said, �100% Fine.� Oddly, there are guys who look at these glittery warning flags and […]

1.25.02 TOLD YOU SO
Lunching at a favorite Chinese food restaurant with a friend:
Me: This water tastes like sperm.
Her: Whaat?
Me: Yep.
Her: Are you serious?
Me: It�s not strong. I think it�s the detergent or something. Taste it.
Her: No. Way. Don�t drink that.
Me: There�s no detritus floating around or anything.
Her: […]

1.24.02 LADIES NIGHT EXCERPT
Lady 1: To be honest, it wasn�t that I didn�t find him attractive. I just didn�t think he was the type of guy who�d be attracted to me.
Lady 2: Why?
Lady 1: Well, I didn�t think he was into black girls.
Lady 3: Ah.
Lady 1: No� I mean… How […]

1.23.02 JUNIOR HIGH SEXUAL POLITICS, OVERHEARD
Boy: �Most guys think, �If I could put my power drive up in her, that’d be alright.�
Shiny Shirt Girl: What if he’s just not interested in doing it because he’s only 15?
Boy: Then he’s not a guy.
Shiny Shirt Girl: 15?!
Girl in Pigtails: I hate to […]

1.17.02 FASHION STATEMENT
While flipping through a magazine, I come across a one-panel cartoon that depicts �Afgani women�s wear� as though it were being sold at the Gap. The old woman sitting next to me on the bus points at the cartoon.
Her: I want to buy one of those.
Me: A chador?
Her: A […]

1.15.02 OVERHEARD
Man: So, how’ve you been?
Woman: Good, you?
M: Not so good, our dog is sick again.
W: Oh, no!
M: Yeah, took him to the vet and he needs back surgery.
W: Wow.
M: Yeah, he’s been limping around. He’s 12 years old, so he’s getting on. They’re only supposed to live […]

1.14.02 MAGGIE RECOMMENDS
It’s been over a week since I saw Amelie, and I’m still in a good mood. Then again, I’m also still laughing about the guy who bet that his friend wouldn’t eat an entire tablespoon of cinnamon. (via Kottke)
5 p.m.

1.09.02 FOR EXAMPLE
I was looking into the nuances of semicolon usage when I came across this gem in the Chicago Manual of Style, 14th edition, section 5.90:
“Mittelbach had forgotten his reeds; hence he was prevented from jamming with the others.”
5:16 p.m.

1.8.02 MOMENT OF SILENCE
Is anyone else inexplicably bummed about Dave Thomas dying?
11:27 a.m.

FIT
I went to the gym this morning. Afterward, I had potato chips for breakfast.
9:08 a.m.