Archive for August, 2001

8.31.01

My favorite parts of Stephen King’s On Writing:
On writing seminars:
“It seems to occur to few of the attendees that if you have a feeling you just can’t describe, you might just be, I don’t know, kind of like, my sense of it is, maybe in the wrong fucking class.”
On becoming a cub sports […]

8.30.01

Ladies night excerpts:
Lady 1: So he said he wasn’t gonna date her anymore because she wasn’t a good lay. So I said, “I’m curious, what’s a bad lay from a guy’s viewpoint?” And he goes (spreads legs, adopts blank look).
Lady 2: So it’s not that she wasn’t a good lay, it’s just that “lay” was […]

8.30.01

Last Friday was Julie’s birthday. She wanted to go see “The Vagina Monologues,” so we got tickets. For a few hours we listened appreciatively as three women reenacted interviews with hundreds of women talking about their vaginas. When the lights came up, I was entirely too aware that everyone around me had genitalia. Then we […]

8.28.01

Overheard: Somebody done somebody wrong.
Characters: Two teenage girls on the bus.
Girl 1: You got to call her.
Girl 2: Well, she say she saw her leave with some man.
Girl 1: Call her.
Girl 2: If she didn’t see up close, how she know it was Amid?
Girl 1: Uh-uh! You got to call her.
3:16 p.m.

8.27.01

The guys over at The Morning News just published a very brief interview with me (bottom right corner, second column).
11:01 a.m.

Went backpacking this weekend, and cursed my lack of penis.
Me: Are you peeing again?
Him: Yep, and I don’t even need to.
Me: Damn you.
Him: I’m just doing it because the convenience overwhelms me.
Me: […]

8.24.01
This guy wants to be a cat. He’s filed his teeth down, his nails are clawlike, and he has stripe tattoos all over his body. Now he wants fur. Rowrrr! Hey there, Tiger.
(via preshcat!)
2:35 p.m.

8.23.01
Ugly Fat Kid summarizes the average American political sentiment in under ten seconds: “I say we should pass a law about all these problems. There. That covers it. Now on to sports…”
3:57 p.m.

Three confessions:

I type my grocery list.
I had Fritos for breakfast.
Last night, I watched the entire Miss Teen USA pageant, even the part […]

8.22.01
Tuesday night at Naps is Karaoke night. The hot dogs on the back table may be gray, but they’re free. There’s also a wholesale-sized tub of relish if that’s your gig. When we got there, about five regulars lined the bar, and a fellow named Brian was singing a drunken-scat version of “If You Think […]

8.21.01
Overheard: My neighborhood (Noe Valley) in a nutshell.
Characters: Three thirty-somethings shift indecisively in the street.
Woman 1: That doesn’t make sense, we’ll have to double back.
Man: Well, what do you want to do?
Woman 3: Let’s go get the dog, then go to Starbucks.
3:55 p.m.
p.s. Go see The Others. Great, great movie. Karma […]

8.20.01
Top three lines from Original Sin:

It’s a letter from a stranger. Someone I don’t know.
You’re in the skin trade, baby, the skin trade.
(Angelina Jolie to a priest:) Do you believe in forgiveness? Redemption for the human soul?

1:55 p.m.