Ladies night excerpts:

Lady 1: So he said he wasn’t gonna date her anymore because she wasn’t a good lay. So I said, “I’m curious, what’s a bad lay from a guy’s viewpoint?” And he goes (spreads legs, adopts blank look).

Lady 2: So it’s not that she wasn’t a good lay, it’s just that “lay” was her only trick.

Lady 3: The Dissected Frog.

Lady 1: Did you guys hear that Mr. Rogers isn’t doing shows anymore?

Lady 2: Yeah. That sucks.

Lady 3: I have a signed picture of Mr. Rogers.

Lady 1: No way.

Lady 3: Mmm hmm. My dad met him once.

Lady 4: Wouldn’t it be rad to get Mr. Rogers to sign your panties or something?

Lady 5: I wonder if he’d do it.

(Pensive silence.)

Lady 1: He’s kind of boastful. We’re going around introducing ourselves, and he’s saying the exact same thing to every person. I heard it like 30 times. That’s OK if you’ve known someone a couple years, you expect to hear their stories again. But I barely know him. When you’ve known a person a few years you know all their stories, and when they meet someone new you can kind of settle into doing your own thing while they talk. But this guy I just met, and I’m hearing the same thing over and over and over. Then, I started getting sarcastic about it, like filling in responses for him, and he didn’t get it.

All: Ohhh nooooo.

11 a.m.