Mighty Life List
Jul 31 2000

My favorite line from the Onion’s story about
Harry Potter turning kids to Satanism:

“Hermione is my favorite, because she’s smart and has a kitty,” said 6-year-old Jessica Lehman of Easley, SC. “Jesus died because He was weak and stupid.”

3:51 p.m.

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Jul 31 2000

I can’t get anything done when the Onion posts a new edition. Here’s every T.G.I. Friday’s dining experience I’ve ever had:

Welcome to T.G.I. Fridays! May I annoy the living shit out of you?

2:40 p.m.

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Jul 28 2000

I just bought a package of phallic stick pretzels called “Rods.”

10:42 a.m.

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Jul 28 2000

Also

Add Junebug to your Netflix queue. It’s excellent.

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Jul 27 2000 

The shell of a cicada
It sang itself
Utterly away

-Basho

4:12 p.m.

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