Mighty Life List
Jul 31 2000

My favorite line from the Onion’s story about
Harry Potter turning kids to Satanism:

“Hermione is my favorite, because she’s smart and has a kitty,” said 6-year-old Jessica Lehman of Easley, SC. “Jesus died because He was weak and stupid.”

3:51 p.m.

Jul 31 2000

I can’t get anything done when the Onion posts a new edition. Here’s every T.G.I. Friday’s dining experience I’ve ever had:

Welcome to T.G.I. Fridays! May I annoy the living shit out of you?

2:40 p.m.

Jul 28 2000

I just bought a package of phallic stick pretzels called “Rods.”

10:42 a.m.

Jul 28 2000


Add Junebug to your Netflix queue. It’s excellent.

Jul 27 2000

The shell of a cicada
It sang itself
Utterly away


4:12 p.m.

Jul 26 2000

I’m back from my road trip, and as soon as I get my photos developed I’ll have some doozies for the butts across America site.

1:49 p.m.

Jul 19 2000

I’ll be on vacation for the next few days. Need… sunlight.

6:28 p.m.