Someone once said that Toledo sounds like something winged monkeys would sing. And it does, “Toh-lee-DOH, weeeoh-WHUM.” Every corner that doesn’t have an Applebees or a Perkins has a funeral parlor. Two brief Ohio related conversations I had with Fred, who is a certifiable Toledo resident:
Me: Rudy’s Hot Dogs. Oh, my God. That place only serves hot dogs?
Fred: No, they also have omlettes.
Fred: So I’ve already taken some hassling because the new truck’s an import.
Me: What? Please. [I look around the restaurant and whisper:] American cars are crap.
Fred: You know you’re in the Midwest when you have to say that in hushed tones.
Now I’m in Chicago. The humidity is such that I don’t need to rewet my contacts. It’s like heaven, except with more toll booths.