Tag: observations

MTV and Me

For the last ten minutes, I have been watching quasi-celebrity commentary on the Williams sisters’ asses. In the last ten minutes I have not begun to learn French, started the next great American novel, or told anyone I loved them. I have not done any sit ups, flossed my teeth, or contemplated my future. Most importantly, I have not reached for the television remote, which is mere inches from my right hand. Projecting this data set to its logical conclusion, it’s probable that I will drown in a puddle of my own drool a few hours from now during an E! documentary on Scarlett Johansen’s lips. Someone pass the Chee-tohs.

Rights

Bryan and I pass two men picketing on the sidewalk. The typeface on their signs is too small to read. “Something is unfair,” Bryan says. And ain’t it the truth.

Blue-Hair Tantrum

A sweet old lady comes out of the bathroom with her cane. A woman waiting for the bathroom has her back turned, and is blocking the path. The old lady raps her cane on the wood floor twice and stares intently at the customer’s back. She raps twice again, nothing. She begins to pound the floor repeatedly until the woman blocking her turns her head slightly and steps to the side.

City Kid

This little boy is about three, just learning to talk and to count. He’s naming everything we pass and counting objects as the bus drives along.

A truck!

A sidewalk!

A flag! Two flag! One, two, three, four flags!

(We pass the San Francisco City Hall where couples are just leaving their same-sex wedding ceremonies.)

A boy and a girl. … No, a boy and two boy. Two boys.

A tree!

The Pen Vs. the Sword

On the bathroom wall of this SOMA coffee shop, someone has scrawled, “I have a boner that could hit a homer.” I find this intriguing because the gentleman in question most likely wasn’t drunk, and yet he felt compelled to share. I myself have never put pen to plaster, because I can never think of anything worthwhile to say. Perhaps if I had a penis.

Catching up

For the past few years, I’ve read almost no books because I subscribe to so many magazines. Right now, I’m getting:

Real Simple

O, the Oprah Magazine

Martha Stewart Living

Esquire

Vogue

Lucky

Dwell

The New Yorker

The Smithsonian

Time

Jason Kottke recently embarked on a campaign to read more magazines, and he got a surprisingly long list of
suggestions from his readers. Look it over and see what appeals to you. Scanning it, I realized it’s been way too long since I’ve picked up copies of Giant Robot, Readymade, or The Believer. Then again, I’ve been meaning to finish Cry, the Beloved Country, The Lost Contient, and Midnight’s Children for quite a while too. I could use a few weeks on the beach.

Dawg

This young man is strutting up the street with his boom box. He’s a big guy with a shaved head, sporting new sneakers and a parka. Suddenly he stops, looks behind him at ground level and gives a c’mon jerk of his head. Out of the crowd hurries a tiny Chihuahua. The dog rushes to the young man’s side and then sits nervously at his feet. The man pauses a moment, then resumes strutting.

Speak and Spell?

Bryan’s cell phone has one of those rings that make people stop and look in the street. It’s sort of a loud, futuristic, rolling chime. At my sister’s house, his phone rings and the kids sit bolt upright with wide eyes. Trevor says, “We don’t have any toys that sound like that!”