Tantara– The blare of a trumpet or horn.

3:13 p.m.

Best responses from a magazine blurb about what women call their knockers:

• The Pointer Sisters,
• Laverne and Shirley,
• and, my personal favorite, MacNeil and Lehrer.

Still can’t believe no one suggested the Olson Twins.

11:34 a.m.

MARKETING WORKS!

I recently bought some lipstick because it was named Jezebel. I mean it’s a good color, but mostly the name cracked me up; also, it came in a container that looked like a bullet cartridge. Somewhere in New York, a marketing team is slapping fives. They changed the name from Crimson Punch to Jezebel, took it out of the tortoise-shell tube and packed it in a form of weaponry, and sales rocketed among urban twentysomethings. I am yet another unwitting victim of their plan to dominate the red-lipstick market. Anyway, it was totally worth it. Tomorrow night a bunch of us are getting together to run off a cliff, and I want to look hot.

8:39 a.m.