In Kalamazoo, Melissa and I score an upgrade to a suite at the Radisson. It’s enormous.
Melissa: This room is the first time I’ve ever wished I was a teenager again, so we could throw a raging party.
Me: And have hot teenage sex.
Melissa: There’s no such thing as hot teenage sex.
Me: What!? You’re forgetting all about the hot teenage boys.
Melissa: I guess you could have like twenty seconds of hot teenage sex.
Me: Hot teenage hotel room sex with someone in the bed next to you who has to pretend to be asleep.