Conversations my cab driver had last night:
With a red light:
“Whoa. WHOOOOOOOoooooa!”
With me:
“HOLD ON!… (Brakes aggressively.) Sorry about that.”
With his cell phone:
“OK. What time are you getting off? OK. What time are you getting off? OKOKOKOKOKOK. Man, what time are you getting off?
With me:
Him: Why are cell phones so useless for the simple exchange of information? You can’t get any information from them. Did you hear how many times I had to ask that guy what time he was getting off? It was like talking to a goddamn girlfriend…
Me:…
Him: Not to insult women or anything.
Me: Right. Except for how you were insulting women there.
Him: Nononononono. Most women are fine Except for the ones unfortunate enough to have dated me…
Me: …
Him: Women are great, most women are perfectly great. Except for the ones I’ve dated. Especially that one goddamn
Me: …
Him: Most women are fine. I mean. But not that one chick. She broke my heart. And here I am still pining for her…
Me: …
Him: Thirty years later, here I am still pining for that bitch.
Me: You can drop me here, thanks.